Apologise, but, wife cheated while we were dating talk

opinion obvious. advise

I've always resented my wife because when we were dating she cheated on me with an ex-boyfriend. She slept with him for two weeks while we were together, broke up with me for him, and then came back after a month. I've moved on but never forgiven her. Since then I've cheated on her 13 times. Mostly one night stands or flings but a couple affairs too.

In the last MC session last week we talked about finding solid ground for me to stand on so that when the mind movies come and a wave of sadness comes down on me I can find something to keep myself together. I guess the solid ground could be our family. Also thoughts of seperating came to mind. She was gone for 6 months when this happend to try to sort things out without letting me know she was sorting them out with someone else.

Would a seperating help me sort things out? One other thought. Will anything good come out of trying to meet or see the OG? I've been wanting to know what he looks like. She told me he's an average guy. So when I look around I get so mad that they all could be him. I looked online and there is nothing out there for photos.

apologise, but, opinion

The other reason why I would want to meet him is to get it from him how long it lasted and when and how it ended. Is that worth anything? So to recap, What are the most valueable questions to ask to get necessary answers to heal? Is seperating a good idea and what could be gained or lossed with it? The last one, Is it worth trying to meet the other guy to see and get answers? Replied by Older but wiser on topic Wife cheated during engagement 17 years ago. OK, bro, I agree with what has been said before, except that I have a totally different view of the whole situation.

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I wish, for instance, that she had not told you. I am big on honesty, but this had no sensible reason, but just inflicted unnecessary hurt and will hurt the kids, too, because of how you are treating her. Bro, I am a grown up adult man who married the first time at age 37, and divorced in my mid 50's, and am now married to an absolutely wonderful woman who I love dearly.

Wife cheated while we were dating

Now, she was married for 30 years before that. She was in college before that. So, am I suppose to be upset that she had sex with her ex husband perhaps thousands of times, and some other men before she met him? She wasn't a skank, bro, just a young woman then a married woman. What point would there be to think about it?

I told my wife about my past I was a womaniser until age I had two really stupid sexual relationships in the three years I was single and before we met, but although two stupid ones, I had others not so stupid and I told her about that, too. Well, should she have considered me damaged goods, bro? I love her very much because she was able to recognise that I was a very good man NOW, even if not in the past.

It was what I am, not what I was that mattered to her. She wanted to be happy, and I treated her better than she has ever been treated in her life, so, the counsellor is right You have a wonderful wife, so rejoice.

Why Men Cheat on Women They Love

And, one day, after we had been married a while, she was talking about her ex, and started talking about meeting him in college, and her sort of wild life before that But, she knew it was OK because I love her so much, and it's also what she is right now that matters to me, not what she was once.

Yes, I assume she didn't tell me everything and I don't care at all.

I'm 36 and my wife is We dated for 8 years before our marriage. We did have pre-marital sex. Recently, my wife admitted to me that she had had premarital sex with three other men while we were dating. Two of the men were one night stands (college vacations) and the third was a man she dated briefly while we were broken up for three months.

She can if she wants, but women are different than men. They get very embarrassed and ashamed of their past, but I have often said that we ALL have a past, and if a woman with a past could not be a good wife and mother, well, bro, we wouldn't have any wives or mothers.

We all change. We change a lot. Your wife has changed a huge amount. She was a very young woman, like my wife, and what she did is not uncommon at all So, that's how I see this. I know you are shocked. I wouldn't have been. You were separated, so it can happen, bro. It does happen all the time.

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But she loves you NOW, and has been a loyal wife and mother for 17 years and, bro, that is a true gift from God, and she loved you enough to marry you and to have children with you, and to tolerate your questions even though they are very distressing to her Given that you are reacting shocked and hurt, it is right to say that though this was long ago, your are acting like it just happened because you just found out.

But listen closely, bro, to what I am going to tell you, because otherwise, she may feel like you don't love her any more, and are treating her like a hoe, when she is a great wife and mother, so unless you get straight, you may lose her, God forbid.

Just learned that my wife cheated while we were engaged. Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Trust issues She told me her ex-bf had been calling her the whole time we were dating and engaged, and she just met with him, and 'things' happened. She is very sorry and very upset, but she is still the one who did me wrong! Wife cheated during engagement 17 years ago was created by Reggie40 She finally told me about it after she was diagnosed with HPV. I have never been with anyone else and I thought her only with me. Watch Wife cheated on me while we were dating. Even the most demanding visitors will get excited watching amateur porn video on jankossencontemporary.com Tons of free videos in wife dating categories. Everyday ates of the hottest content will turns on all the fans of real passion.

I have seen it happen. One guy on her lost his fiance because she told him about her college days, which were 7 years before, after they had been together faithfully for those 7 years So, regardless of how you feel, and it is OK to feel how you feel, but regardless of that If you want to be happily married, you can't focus on the past, and endlessly punish her for something so long ago. Instead, you have to always treat her with dignity and respect.

Always, no matter how you feel about this. And, you have got to stop with the questioning all the time. Questioning should be scheduled for a specific amount of time each week and done respectfully, preferably with a counsellor, but the rest of the time, you need to be loving and kind and concentrate on having a good, loving marriage. And remember, if you want her to be totally honest you can't punish her for what she tells you If you do this, remember, that how you act toward each other is going to dictate how you end up feeling.

If harsh and attacking, or with contempt, you will have that kind of marriage. If kind and loving, then that kind of marriage. Bro, I am a Christian layperson of a main stream denomination these days, and it means a lot to me because I know I have been forgiven for all the terrible things I did in my life earlier. I have said that I sometimes I feel like the song "Amazing Grace" was written just for me And, the story of the prodigal son is very dear to me, because I too went out and lived a wild life, and then, as is written, "one day he came to his senses" And the person in this story who is the guy that does the wrong thing is the brother, who does not want the father to forgive, and wants to make the prodigal son pay a serious price.

You are that brother to your wife, who is the prodigal, because she came to he senses rather quickly, and long, long ago. The father rejoiced What about you? We are told that if we want to be forgiven, then we must forgive, and if not, we won't be forgiven I certainly don't want that, do you? That is a very real scenario that happens and if she concealed it to save you from the pain and she was committed to move forward without ever intending to do it again, well that was her option.

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Now that you know however it is important that you get to the bottom of this. She has to understand that this has a profound negative effect on you that will haunt you until you resolve this, forgive her, and understand how, if even under the influence of drugs or alcohol, she would do this.


You can rebuild trust and confidence, but you are going to have to forgive and envision yourself a year from now living with this knowledge without it driving you nuts. Remember there is a difference between the commitment levels in dating and marriage and if this was all it was work on the forgiveness angle.

well understand it

Unfortunately, she didn't give your feelings a lot of thought. If you know she hasn't done it since, then I would let it go. Maybe you guys could go to counseling? That would probably help you a lot. You guys are a family now, so you have to find some way to just let it go. It's going to take time and a lot of trust. She is going to be open with you all the time otherwise, if something doesn't match up, it's only natural that your instincts from what previously has happened will scar you again.

Apr 01, I just found out that my wife cheated on me while we were dating. Her excuse is that we were fighting and she got drunk and can't remember how it happened, which I just can't believe! She says she didn't want to do it, but didn't know how to leave, again sounds like a bunch of crap to me!! This was about 6 years ago and we have been married for almost 4 years and have 2 kids. Jan 15, This term "cheat/cheating" comes up a lot on Quora. I'm guessing it may mean different things to different people. To me, as a "senior" citizen, cheating means to me that someone had sex with another person while they were in a mutually committed. My wife cheated in the past; My wife cheated in the past. I have been married for 34 years. Two years ago, my wife admitted that she allowed an old boyfriend to have sex with her just 3 months before we married and whilst we were engaged. Apparently it only happened once.

Make it very clear to her that you are giving her this chance and not to blow it by lying about anything. I think after a while, if everything goes smooth and she can be trusted, then let go of the issue and move on. I can understand how this would niggle you. She is very probably telling the truth it does happen especially when you are angry with someone.

Just explain to her you need to talk about this just to get it out of your system.

Wife confessed to cheating when we were dating. About a year ago i started sexting with a women on tango. I left my phone at home one day and wife found out about. she called me at work and let me have it and hung up. i immediately came home, thinking this is the end of our marriage. Sep 24, Married 18 years. We have three three kids. Nice house Basically a good life. I've always resented my wife because when we were dating she cheated on me with an ex-boyfriend. She slept with him for two weeks while we were together, broke up with me for him, and then came back after a month. I've moved on but never forgiven her. Since then I've cheated on her 13 times. Mar 25, Found out my husband cheated on me for a year - not when we were married but when we were dating. He didn't come clean on his own. I found an email while looking for the Peapod delivery time. That would be because I'm a stay-at-home mom of two young sons.

Just remember it is your mind controlling you, the day before you knew this you were fine. Don't let this situation have power over you, it may destroy the good relationship you have had since then.

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Man i definitely feel your pain. I have been living in pretty much the same situation. My wife and I met in college we were in our teens and dated till we got married. In college we had our ups and downs and even broke up a couple times. When we weren't in school we lived in different states at least 13 hrs apart I never cheated on her while we were together no matter how tough things got.

I graduated school before she did and things were really rocky.

I've cheated on my wife. She cheated on me while we were dating so is it just even?

She cheated on me with an ex boyfriend. We broke up for about 8 months. I forgave her for sleeping with ex and we got back together.

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During the time when we werent together we dated other people. Didnt really care about that. We got married 4 years later and things are great. About 3 years after we are married we get into an aurguement about the past. After some hard persuasion becareful for what you ask for she reveals that she had cheated on me more than just that one time while we dated back in college. I was shocked and hurt. View related questions: cheated on medivorceengage friend's husban her ex.

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A male reader, anonymouswrites 29 January :. A reader, anonymouswrites 28 January :. A male reader, anonymouswrites 28 January :. A male reader, anonymouswrites 27 January :. A male reader, anonymouswrites 26 January :. A reader, anonymouswrites 26 January :.

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Pre-marital cheating

Login first Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! ORG - we actively monitor for copyright theft. New here? Ask for help! Top agony aunts. About Us. I found out that while we were engaged and getting ready for our marriage she 'hooked up' with an ex-boyfriend.

I confronted her and she admitted it. She said we had just had a huge fight and weren't talking for about a week.

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