Walk down any street or into any bar in China and you will see the oh-so familiar sight of foreign men with Chinese girls. Go on any internet forum and you will be able to access myriad conversations and threads extolling the trials and tribulations of Western men dating Chinese girls. But what if we flip it the other way round? Source: Fe Ilya. The sight of a western woman with a Chinese man is, although admittedly more and more commonplace, still a relative rarity, and the information and advice available to Western women who are seeking to date Chinese men is still comparatively scarce. So scarce, in fact, that Jocelyn Eikenburg, an American who has been married to a Chinese man for several years, has written a successful blog , and even been interviewed by the BBC about this "phenomenon".
Anyone, Foreigner male or female, who are dreaming of dating or worse, marrying a Chinese man or woman is just crazy, dumb, stupid or high as a kite!! Chinese women age like coffee, cold and bitter, as for the men, wow I mean, now you talking someone who is, generally speaking of course, just plain ignorant, delusional, usually spoiled, always on mission impossible Mar 17, Report Abuse. May 19, Report Abuse. Use for what?
Are you just looking to score with a foreign girl, because none of these work to any girl with half a brain. Frankly, even though I agree in principle, in practice Chinese men don't approach Western girls.
They are way too shy for that. Heck, notice how many Chinese men approach Chinese girls. The only "pick-ups" in China are by foreigners. Jun 06, Report Abuse. After all, who knows them better? Having said that, in my 4 years in Shanghai I saw maybe 3 "Western girl-Chinese man" couples. In a smaller city, you might be the "talk of the town". Times are changing The problem is that in most Asian cultures it is encouraged for people to remain introverted, whereas in Western culture extroversion is prized.
What to Expect from Your Employment Contract in China?
Western women expect to be chased. They expect a man who isn't afraid to make the first move. When Asian men hold back, Western women assume there's no attraction. Sounds like promotion.
They just pay a second girlfriend or 'KTV' girls for side fun. Almost completely wishful article. May 17, Report Abuse. When I first read this article Especially based on the material I was expecting the usual Chinese culture bashing that goes on in every other article.
I was pleasantly surprised. Glad to know hate has not completely overwhelmed the comment section of this site.
Thanks for that. I've gradually learned what "traditional Chinese woman" and "family oriented" mean to women over 44 - and it doesn't mean they are ready to have your child.
You have been absorbed into group think and your ship may be turned around degrees by a septuagenerian captain.
If you are a journal writer, I would leave the diary at work because there is no space for privacy in a Chinese marriage.
A 40 year old woman sent by the school for "English" lessons from a teacher came for a visit that lasted 6 hours. When he went for a nap to get rid of her, she stayed and his current girlfriend said this woman went through every drawer in the house and inspected the passport when she discovered it. She had another agenda besides language lessons when she arrived at his door. May 15, Report Abuse. May 16, Report Abuse. Jesus, a little off topic? I don't even see a gradual digression, just BLAM!
Cross-cultural relationships are about communication, negotiation and compromise. Most foreign women would be willing to compromise to some degree.
But when you are up against someone who won't, or dismiss your concerns and refuse to communicate by saying 'you think too much', it becomes too much like hard work for one person. May 14, Report Abuse. I could not agree more with this post.
I was constantly being told "you're over-thinking things", "don't think too much", which drove me nuts. I am speaking from an American perspective, but I think in general we are fairly direct and realize that open communication, even about uncomfortable issues, is important in the success of a relationship.
The Chinese man I dated was not as open in communication and never really posed any feasible solutions to the issues and conflicts that invariably come up in a cross-cultural love affair.
We all know that men mature later than woman, but I've found that in China, in general, they mature even later. Part of this probably stems from not working until after college, overly-involved parents, etc. I'm not at all convinced that most Chinese men are attracted to Western Women, I think it's only a small minority who are. Sure, Western models are plastered all over billboards as some kind of ethereal creatures whose features are to be seen as desirable but I think the average size and weight of a Western Woman puts them off, as well as the already mentioned inferiority complex that some Asian men have.
If you flip the coin Western Women are not attracted to Asian Men primarily because they are too short, and they just don't approach women they sit in the corner giggling like schoolgirls. In the family domain they aren't decisive, relying too much on other people for advice on what to do.
If they were more decisive and confident they would find that Western Women are approachable and are open to dating them, it's not their looks that are off putting it's the attitude.
Oct 01, Dating is fun and all, but group dates are in again these days, too, especially with all the group dating apps out there. Not only do group dates take away from the pressure of Author: Natalia Lusinski.
I also think the main reason is, as mentioned, that these only-child eldest sons are planning to marry whoever mama picks, as long as they get a sports car and free house thrown in. White girls are for fun Like any relationship, I think it is important to make concessions and compromise, but I also think that if you find yourself "putting on an act" or drastically changing who you are as a person in hopes of being compatible, then the relationship is probably not something you want to continue over the long-run.
Eventually, you will be suppressing your own hopes and dreams, which will lead to bitterness and resentment. I think this goes for both genders. Role playing is just that, it's not real. So what happens when that puppy-dog love wears off? You're staring at reality, and the true nature of the other person. You need to be considerate of the other person's time here in China. That is why it is important to show the other person the "real you" towards the beginning of the relationship.
Otherwise, your relationship cannot grow if it is built on a false perception of who you are.
This article, although helpful, promotes a lot of courtesy and "giving-way" by suggesting that you attempt to change your persona, your m. But there are dangers of growing into a relationship where you are just unhappy. Though this is China, "The truth" is still universally fundamental and necessary.
Some interesting points. The reason why foreign women are not interested in Chinese men is because most not all Chinese men are little pansies. Women want a real man - Not a weed who has his mother control his life. You see these guys everywhere, carrying the girlfriends handbag, copping abuse and being stepped all over. The same goes for Chinese girls. Some are OK, but the majority are just selfish and rude.
The 'sajiao' part is correct. Ive seen this on countless occassions where the man will give in to the womans childish behaviour and tantrums because he doesn't have the balls to stick up for himself - it's really pathetic. I've dated quite a few Chinese girls in my seven years in China, and I don't ever see myself marrying one.
I just can't tolerate their way of thinking and their self centred attitude. Don't get me wrong, there are some great girls here - but they are few and far between. Read article with smartphone. Comments Share this Article:.
How to Progress From Casual Dating to a Relationship
Source: Fe Ilya The sight of a western woman with a Chinese man is, although admittedly more and more commonplace, still a relative rarity, and the information and advice available to Western women who are seeking to date Chinese men is still comparatively scarce.
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Aug 26, It's not that Western women don't want Asian men or that Asian men don't want Western women, or even that they're incompatible: it's that their cultures have two separate values for what dating means and how it is supposed to happen, and Asian men who want to date outside of the box need to realize that they can't always use an Asian approach. MeetAnOstoMate is not a typical ostomy website, but rather a vibrant multi-topic community, where people have fun, discuss various things, laugh together, cry together, and give each other plenty of love and support. When you find someone that you enjoy spending time with, the world seems a brighter place. You can't stop smiling, and you long to be with him as much as possible. Before you know it, your lives have merged. Casual relationships require little of each party. Serious relationships require commitment to the other.
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