Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to receive weekly articles that might help you during and after your divorce! I seriously felt like I was going to go insane. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. We had gotten together a few times and I had told her things-personal things about my ex and our relationship, why I was getting divorced, etc. I shared things with her and trusted her. Weeks later, I saw my ex leaving her house.
Then my friend male told me he was breaking up with me.
I texted my ex and asked him why he wanted to break up, he said because the girl that is currently dating him told him I had feelings for somebody else. This is funny, ironic funny. My divorce was caused by my then husband cheating with a good girlfriend and then using another good girlfriend as his sounding board. Talk about betrayal. I have lost several friends over this as they have chosen him in this divorce.
Where no sides should have every been taken. My husband of 10 years and my best friend left me for each other. I feel very blessed to have found this article. I felt at fault and betrayed. The article made me feel not so alone.
7 Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friend's Ex
My son will figure it out without me! I have to know more before I can offer advice. If there are kids involved than you probably have to communicate with your ex. Your kids will figure it out. It may take years but they will get it. My not yet ex wife is dating my best friend of 20 years after two weeks he has already said he loves her.
I am so sorry!!! Please breathe.
This will pass. Try to remember that the two of you are on separate roads now and you should focus only on yourself and your kids. As for your friend, I am absolutely disgusted by him. As for your wife, she might think she is in love, but part of her is only trying to get back at you-subconsciously even.
Jul 16, After I found out my ex and friend were dating, I cried for hours on my best friend's couch. There was a seam in the sofa that had been wearing away for years, pieces of . Oct 08, A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else. Under that logic, I've . Aug 22, In 8th grade, my ex started "going out" with a friend mere days after we broke up. It wasn't cool then, and it's not cool now. So, I'm asking you dear readers: is Author: Anna Moeslein.
But I get it. Your life will only get better as you realize that you deserve so much more. Choose your next girlfriend as a person who will treat you as well as you are willing to treat her. You have a bright future. Just get through this one day at a time and remember that you are deserving of better people in your life.
Take care of yourself, exercise, do your best to sleep, stay away from addictions and allow yourself to grieve.
Feb 29, If a friend of mine ever got with an ex girlfriend of mine, he wouldn't be a friend any longer. Best friend or not. An unwritten rule in friendship and relationships. I would never dream of going after a friends ex girlfriend. Never. It is in the. Mar 13, Just because they did it in Friends, it doesn't mean it's OK in real life, guys. Where relationships are concerned, going out with one of your mates' ex Actors: Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow. Jun 14, I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs, where everyone knows everyone. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how to keep from going insane: 1. Your ex and "your friend" are the ones who should feel stupid, NOT YOU!
Each day will improve and you will see the sunshine again. Hang in there! It really sucks now, but this is the worst of it.
It will get better as you take care of yourself. You can make it. My ex-husband that I have been supporting both emotionally and financially while he was going through a rough few years I supported him because we have a child just informed me that he and my friend have decided to start dating.
How do I handle this? What a nightmare. I am so so sorry. In other words, keep business separate if you can.
You kind of have to hold in your feelings if you want to keep the business. Shame on them. This is presuming there was nothing untoward before the divorce. I divorced after 9 years, and the last 3 were awful. My best male friend was there for me, impartially, during the most stressful moments, as he was for my ex.
It was during those moments of deep conversation, reflection and quiet understanding that we connected on a different level. This is a real selfless love we have for one another, not a childish retaliation or a rebound.
I also know that if he has loved me, he will see that we are all in a better place mentally to move forward and grow. Keep a level head. Spoken like someone who screwed her friend and her friends husband or ex.
My friend started dating my ex
To try to make made up excuses that make YOU feel better or trying to justify abhorrent behavior is just despicable and any excuses you make are just for your own benefit. Trying to make yourself happy while ruining someone else or devastating them and betraying them will never work.
So if you want to live in fantasy land, go ahead. Look in the mirror honestly and stop trying to make excuses for your behavior. It is NOT ok and never will be. I could not have said it any better. Anyone who makes the justification in their head to make themselves feel its OK to do this is selfish and delusional. My ex husband confided in someone I considered a friend.
This woman congratulated us during our marriage and rubbed my belly when I was pregnant. Unbeknownst to me he would confide in her when we had our issues. They engaged in a relationship while we were married and flaunted it on social media. This killed me inside. I was numb and hurt beyond measure. To make matters worse I had to deal with this hurt and raise our 2 year old child who was recently diagnosed with ASD.
I would ask him for help with our child and I was and continue to be hurled with insults and comparisons to the woman he is engaged to from him! Throughout all of this. I have never mentioned anything to him about her. Gritted my teeth kept my head held high even though I wanted to crawl into a hole. Recently she reached out to me and wanted to in her words talk to me woman to woman. I did not respond to her text message.
She then told me that I am spreading lies about her relationship with my ex husband and I am a bitter person and threatened that I should stop talking about her. I prayed about it and realized that her wanting to talk to me was about them trying to appease their guilt and furthermore I was not married to her, but their failure to recognize their wrong and wanting to engage in the relationship tells me talking to them about it would not help me.
It would only hurt my progress. Dealing with divorce coupled with betrayal and the mix of what life throws your way is so very difficult.
That is adding insult to injury. I firmly disagree with you on that. The advice to that person, should be STOP. J if I could do it over again, I would have sent your response block and continue to live Happily Ever After.
If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how NOT to go insane: 1. Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph Divorce is a journey. Read articles on Thinking About Divorce. Getting Divorced. Kids, Coparenting and Single Parents. Dating, Relationships and Sex.
My Friend Is Dating My Ex - Dating 101
Health and Wellness After Divorce. Remove yourself from it and rise above. Grit your teeth, accept it, act classy and show grace to the outside world. I remember people in my neighborhood would tell me they saw them out and I would seriously cringe, and then go home and cry. The people weren't trying to be cruel, by the way. Make sure not to react in front of others because it could get back to your ex and your friend I mean, your ex friend.
Plus, when the relationship ends, the only thing people will remember is how you reacted.
Mar 17, It doesn't matter how long you dated your ex, who broke up with who, or if you're still sometimes hooking up with him, it still feels like a slap in the face to find out your friend is dating him.I mean like Gretchen Weiners said, ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends, that's just like, the rules of jankossencontemporary.com the reality is that it happens, and sometimes it happens to you.
DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It's ujankossencontemporary.comoductive, psychotic and immature. You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. In fact, if you are a little icy that's okay. Just don't go postal.
Call your REAL girlfriends. The fact that this girl did this to you is probably making you feel insecure about girl friendships. So, call your girls up! Call the ones you know are your true friends.
They will support you more than you could have possibly imagined. They will assure you that they are your best friends and that you are loved. The relationship probably won't last. What are the chances they are going to end up happily ever after? Especially if he or she is newly separated.
Jun 04, In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend. They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one Author: Lindsay King-Miller. Apr 14, My best friend started dating my ex-husband and I am broken. When it came to my marriage, I told my best friend absolutely everything. Now, I know that was a Author: Liz Mcnicol. I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how NOT to go insane: 1. Your ex and "your friend" are the ones who should feel stupid, NOT YOU! What they are doing is really uncool and unacceptable. YOU have done nothing to warrant their behavior. 2.
If it does, you can handle it because of tip 8. Focus on your own life. The person is obviously is a bad friend and you are getting a divorce, regardless of him or her, right? So, let them have their fun and concentrate on making your own life better. Focus on your kids, your career, and your love life, if you choose. A good friend used to say to me, "You're on your own road.
Travel it! Lastly, if you are on the other end of this, meaning if you are the one who starts dating your friend's ex, PLEASE handle it this way. Confront your friend and apologize. Say something like, "This isn't personal.
We really like each other. I hope you understand that we don't want to hurt you. I'm so so sorry. She will still be upset, but at least you're thinking of your friend's feelings. It's an unselfish act. If she goes off on you, at least you can say you handled it the best way you could have. Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter and columnist for Sun-Times Media.
She lives in Chicago with her two kids.