Jump to navigation. Could a person with TBI start and have a healthy romantic relationship? The answer to this question is - yes. Following brain injury, individuals can - and do - start and maintain healthy, loving, committed relationships. However, this answer also comes with an asterisk.
For the greater good of humanity, I decided to ask one simple question: When you say you're "dating" someone, what does that mean to you? While hooking up involves a bunch of late-night booty calls that don't necessarily need to lead up to anything, dating is time spent getting to know someone, trying to figure out whether or not you're going to take the next step and pursue a real relationship.
By Candice Jalili.
So, the way I see it, "dating" is what happens before you're boyfriend and girlfriend. Life has a cute, charming way of making things unnecessarily complicated.
About Contact Newsletter Terms Privacy. My fiance has TBI. Sometimes out of nowhere he cusses me and hurts me mentally How do I handle this. I know this sounds crazy but he doesn't mean it. He is frustrated because either things did not go the way he wanted.
Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury
I suffer from a TBI from I was 19 years old. I get mad at a drop of the hat. I am 48 years old and things have changed for me but it took a long time. Be patient just know you are a good person and it's not your fault and it's not his. The TBI changed him and there is no going back.
Welcome to r/dating_advice!. Please keep the rules of r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a message. We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. When caring for someone with tuberculosis (TB), remember that patients with latent tuberculosis - those who don't show any symptoms - cannot spread the disease. Only patients with active tuberculosis should be isolated until they are no longer contagious (usually for the first two weeks of . Apr 12, I have been dating someone for 3 months who had a accident 13 years ago. The first month was loving and spontaneous and he would show lots of affection. But for the last two months he rarely shows any affection or instigates physical contact. Jbhbe spoken to him about this and he said that he did not even realise.
I am rn for a pt, tbi. He tells me to go home He used to really smile and be happy when i was there. Cant deal w it! Just sad Talk it through with him almost child like since its is a hard pill to swallow for a TBI person to realize they have to be somewhat raised again in an adult form its humiliating, embarrassing, and scary because of the vulnerabilities they realize people can take advantage of.
I have had a severe tbi, and with it I was diagnosed with something called PBA pseudo bulbar syndrome. We can have damage done to the centers of the brain that control emotions and reactions.
Talk to him about the issue.
If this isn't the man he was before or isn't a part of him, talk to a doctor. It is most likely part of the brain injury.
They have medicines to help, as they helped me very much. I have been dating someone for 3 months who had a accident 13 years ago. The first month was loving and spontaneous and he would show lots of affection. But for the last two months he rarely shows any affection or instigates physical contact. Jbhbe spoken to him about this and he said that he did not even realise. I honestly thought that something was wrong with me and it's made me feel very self conscious. I have been in a 6 month relationship with a man that had a Subarachnoid hemorrhage 3 years ago.
He told me how it effected his memory and gave him bouts of E. I honestly thought the E. His emotional swings and memory issues are the biggest issues. He was cheated on by his ex wife prior to the stoke and has major trust issues.
I have always been an independent person and he takes my independence or what appears as of lack of need to him as me having someone else in my life. No matter what I say or do it turns into an argument that ends up becoming escalated and confusing.
Things I said are either not remembered at all and I am "cold" because I ignored his feelings or if they are remembered then the whole conversation is twisted and not at all received correctly.
I get frustrated trying to explain because it seems no matter how I try to carefully phrase things to be honest yet as positive as possible it is rarely received as either. If I tell him that he doesn't remember something I said he gets angry and accuses me of picking on him for his memory issues.
I feel like I am spinning my wheels. Finding this blog has definitely helped me "feel" better but I still don't know how I should handle things differently. I was seriously considering never telling him the truth about how I am really feeling and putting on a happy face all the time I am not sure I can do that, but is that what is required to keep the peace? I've been searching online for a support group.
How do I find one? Hi Julie, If you want to talk I'm going through the same thing. I looked a little bit for an online support group but didn't find the right one.
I am in a very similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend nearly a year. He is wonderful and can be very loving in a way I have never experienced before, but he is very inconsistent and can be rather cold and distant at times with mood swings and burts of anger that are usually - in my opinion - due to some sort of misunderstanding. His short term memory is terrible and even with me constantly reminding him of things he drops the ball on a lot of different promises.
I have been very frustrated that he cannot remember basic things like my work schedule which is the same every week. He still doesn't know the date of my birthday. He knows the month but can't seem to remember the day which is the 1st. He is chronically late usually by 3 or more hours and sometimes - though rarely - doesn't even show up whether its something he planned with me, a friend, or a family member - nobody gets any special treatment. We all see his tardiness as a lack of consideration for our time, but its very confusing because to know him one realizes that he truly has a heart of gold and he seems to mean what he says and intends to do as he says - he just can't keep track of the time and genuinely does not realize how much time has passed.
If he promised to do something 3 weeks ago but still hasn't followed through when i bring it up he swears its only been a few days until i show him a calendar and then he becomes angry at himself.
I have had such a hard time understanding this until I finally began putting together the pieces. He is an incredibly intelligent man and very creative, but he cannot hold a job and I'm beginning to realize - at least for the time being - he cannot take care of himself independently.
He is also very impulsive and makes poor choices when it comes to money. He cannot plan ahead or manage the mundane tasks of life effectively. What's been bothering me a lot lately is the complete lack of sex. The entire relationship we have had very little sex, but it was somewhat regular for the first month or two perhaps but suddenly he "lost his sex drive" entirely and at this point its been about 7 months I have had such a hard time not taking this personally and its such a delicate subject to being up because he feels poorly about it as the issue is physiological - ED and of this I am sure.
I think that was an issue in the beginning as well but because it had been a while and it was all new and exciting that gave him some extra steam for a bit. What concerns me in his case is that his TBI happened when he was a baby That was over 30 years ago.
I didn't think much of it when he first told me, but lately I began to wonder if there could be something going on in his brain to account for his frustrating behaviors and talking with my own therapist he believes his symptoms sound like brain malfunction.
Talking with my boyfriend's family I have also learned that he struggled in school due to severe difficulty reading and he needed a school plan to accommodate this. He has always had difficulty with organization when though his parents tried so hard to get him to keep his room straight - they eventually gave up. He is on the verge of what one would consider hoarding behavior. Reading remains a challenge for him yet interestingly he is very good with words and has an excellent vocabulary bank, however, often times - almost always - he does not speak clearly - I have to have him respeat himself very often at this point I'm much better at understanding his speech than anyone else though.
His family gets frustrated with him and assumes he is just lazy and mumbling, but now I'm beginning to think this is a much deeper issue. Occasionally, usually if he is very tired, he will slur and that is VERY difficult - nearly impossible - to understand.
Because he does have a history of drug abuse on top of it all but he has been clean a while now his family accuses him of using again if they catch him slurring. At first I was concerned of the same, but because we now spend so much time together I know that is not the case.
I have been crying all morning with the realization that my love most likely has brain damage and has been living misunderstood his entire life and it breaks my heart that nobody in his family thought about this over all these years.
Dating someone with tb
He is 34 and essentially hasn't left home because he can't take care of himself and would end up living on the streets. Everyone blames him of being lazy and unmotivated, but I'm seeing it very differently now.
Reading about TBI and hearing other people's experiences with it has been immensely helpful and reassuring. It is much harder for me to be upset knowing this. Did you ever find a support group? I so am in same position. However some people with acute brain injury. I have found this. He uses his brain injury. He holds his do called mates in higher esteem to me.
I have put my life on hold for him.
"TB" is short for a disease called tuberculosis. TB is spread through the air from one person to another. TB germs are passed through the air when someone who is sick with TB disease of the lungs or throat coughs, speaks, laughs, sings, or sneezes. Anyone near the sick person with TB disease can breathe TB germs into their lungs. Jan 09, Dating is when you are seeing someone on a consistent/regular basis with the intention to make that person your significant other. - Lucy*, 23 . The longer you spend with someone who has contagious TB, the greater the likelihood that you'll catch the illness. But even if you are infected with tuberculosis, you may still never get sick.
I do everything. Washing cleaning. And its all gone out the window. I feel I have lost. He won't help himself. His bad influence so called mates. He taxes. I'm forgotten. I work hard to keep body and soul together. I am not going.
Tuberculosis (TB) is a bacterial infection that can be dangerous, but it's almost always curable. Learn what medications are used for each type of the disease. Dec 01, The important thing to know is that while each time you have ujankossencontemporary.comotected sex with someone who is HIV positive the likelihood you'll become infected is Author: Emma Kaywin. Dec 21, The TB skin test may be used to find out if you are infected with TB bacteria. You can get a skin test at the health department or at your doctor's office. A health care worker will inject a small amount of testing fluid (called tuberculin or PPD) into the skin on the lower part of your jankossencontemporary.com 2 or 3 days, you must return to have your skin test read by the health care worker.
To his. Bad influence mates. He says I'm first. But I don't feel it. I'm bottom of the shit heap. Its beyond all exration. And frustration. But he knows. And quite frankly. I'm over it. I can't. I told him to leave I'm so. I am mental health nurse. Beyond all my comprehension.
As I know. In another couple of weeks. I have to throw the towel. Own sanity.
And live my life. And this. Going to be easy. For me. May be this is necessary. For him to realise. I warned him.
I can't take it. It will be over. As I honestly. I guess I have had the Realization. If someone is permantly broken. And refuses the help. That's been given. And keeps repeating same. In the relationship. And puts his friends above me. He needs to. Be alone. I'm angry and hurt. He threatens suicide. And his family But. He takes no notice. Its all been a waste of my time and energy.
I'm not wasting any more. I hope people read this.
Am I Dating Someone? - Answering Your Questions
And Realise. Are going through there own hell. Its a shame. Who are on the receiving.
Well I've. Yo the point of not knowing. His finger. I can see right through his strategies. And I have turned myself inside out. Where I have no more.
Tears now. I just. Carryon with life. I'm done with. Good luck. Sure as hell going to need lots of it. These posts break my heart. I fell down the steps when I was 20 12 years ago and was in the hospital for a month with a severe TBI. Internally I am sometimes on top of the world, cocky, arrogant, just crushing life and feel great.
And within minutes can be hiding under the covers for months, scared of my next thought. I relate to a lot of the comments above and feel disgusted at the way I have treated people.
I've done my best attempting to get help, and fall off track often. The struggle to find help again gives me so much anxiety that I usually don't get very far. Regarding Steve's comment from Feb Your post broke my heart.
I don't have a TBI myself, but have fallen in love with someone who was in a wreck 17 yrs ago age I have two things to share: 1 I have bipolar disorder and your mood swings and anxiety sound very much like your own. Perhaps you could get a psychiatric consultation about these emotions and inability to get out in the world-class is Soo similar to the way people with bipolar experience life. That's my own personal opinion, of course. I did just end a 25yr career working with disabled people.
Now I realize the changes in my brain and lifestyle aren't very different from the people like you who I have met. I understand what it feels like to be So Lonely and sad about your life. You're not alone! Me, my boyfriend, and others have suffered, too. Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to help a little. This site is helping me so much. I am reading things that sound just like my situation, when I thought it was just me. Dating a man with a TBI he suffered 20 years ago.
We are just at 5 months now. He was charming, a dream come true. This all lasted for about 3 months.
He told me about the injury at the beginningbut said other than some short term memory issues, there was nothing to really know. He wanted to plan a future with me. He joined me at several Christmas invites. It was so wonderful.
All of a sudden, he changed. I didn't understand. Looking at it now, I think I overwhelmed him and I had no idea I was doing it. He even has accused me of controlling him at Christmas He has wanted to break up a couple of times, but then was texing the next day that he loved me.
The last two months have been a rollercoaster. We will spend some time together and it's wonderful Says he is'nt fit to have a relationship - Will even block me from his phone. Then a few days later, be back telling me he loves me. He is in really dark place. I'm trying to get him to concentrate on our friendship.
Thank you so much to all of you who are posting, those with TBIs, you are making this easier to understand. I want to understand. I am starting to think that he maybe is afraid that I will see a side that I won't love so he is in this mood. I know most of it has nothing to do with me but it's so confusing sometimes. Will I ever get that wonderful man I loved so much at the beginning back, even for a while?
Having TBI is difficult, I've been bailed on cuz of it. You're with someone you love and things are going great but they don't want to put in the effort to understand and walk away for a downgrade in everyone's eyes. It's gotten to the point that I'm not meant to be with anyone, females don't want to put in the effort in my experiences.
I have recently met a guy that I can say have fell in love with very much. He has a TBI and I agree he is the most loving and caring person. He has issues where he thinks i am hiding men and cheating on him while he is in my home. We have broken up a few times now and he will do the same by blaming me for everything, will block me and then tell me he loves me and wants to work things out with me.
Our 2nd breakup I realized he had a TBI and felt awfulbecause I definitely did not handle our arguments appropriately or to even know how to say I am not lying or cheating. We currently are broken up again and is the same issue of cheating and dishonesty and I am currently blocked.
I have told him I would be there for him through all of this and I want to be with him forever. I want to learn how I can help him feel happy again because he makes me happy. My husband had an accident 7 years ago and now left with TBI. Although very difficult to live with him but I managed to stay strong and stand tall be proud for 7 years.
Not easy, very challenging, lots tears and sacrifices but have to do it for the sake of my children we have 2 beautiful smart children. The hardest bit is to make our children understand the situation. Whenever he had mood swings, shouted with temper kids will be scare and upset. Things that I never wanted to see. The only thing made me giving up but also the main reason I am staying. I have never been apart of online support. I love my partner very much.
We have been together over a year and currently live with one another. I haven't thought one time of leaving him but have been having a hard time supporting myself alongside him through the hard times. I constantly reassure him im here when hes ready to let me be.
Sometimes i talk to him and he doesnt say a word back. He wont look at me, he wont speak to me. I feel like im a burden to him instead of a support system.
He has opened up to be a few times in the past about his injury and allowed me to have his back. This time its different, and has almost been a month since this has all been going on.
My son is noticing a difference in his whole demeanor as well and takes it personal, like hes done something wrong Do you have any advice for me? My husband suffered a TBI in He was successful physician which after the accident his license was taken away. Our lives have been turned upside down. He was in a day program for 16 months. Learning how to speak, write and walk correctly. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that this all happened. We have good days and we have bad days.
And the days that are bad I just have to keep telling myself that this day will pass and hopefully tomorrow will be better. We wrote this book hoping it would help one person. I was so afraid of the future and so was he.