My cat, Pookie, can be a bit of a diva. She insists on lounging on the foot of my bed, must be fed at am sharp, and needs constant affection, but only on her terms. Despite her diva tendencies, I love this cat. After spending a few hours at my place, my boyfriend would be sneeze-y, itchy, and even a bit wheezy. The idea of having to pick between Pookie and my boyfriend seemed unfair. CatTime has a ton of tips on how to keep allergens at bay. But for those of us fortunate enough to be allergy free, taking care of your place for someone who does have allergies can be a big lifestyle change.
And don't ever try to minimize a medical problem that her cat is having. Even if the cat is wearing a doofy cone. A good rule of thumb is usually: If she laughs, you can laugh. The girl, I mean. Not the cat. There's a pretty good chance she comes from a family of cat people. Or at least cat ladies who didn't allow the men to have an opinion, which is really the best kind of cat lady.
So if you have a dog, well it might be a little much for her. I flinch whenever a dog runs at me or jumps on me. It's kind of overwhelming! Dogs are kind of the Ethel Merman of animals. Could just be me though. She may be a little more antisocial than other women you've dated.
It's a stereotype, but definitely true for some women! For instance, me. She knows there are guys who are allergic to cats and other guys who are "allergic to cats," so if you're just "allergic to cats," she's onto you. In other words, don't pretend you're allergic if you just don't like when the girl you're dating has a cat. Boy, that is alot of work without a doubt.
I am assuming that your daughter is younger, in her early 20's perhaps? If I am wrong, please disregard. By statistical, social and psychological standards young relationships are meant to end, they are learning experiences. Statistics show that marriages began while the couple are in their early 20's or younger rarely survive. To give up all the hard work one has done in Pre-Med to keep their GPA high enough to even be granted an interview at a School of Medicine for "this guy" is surprising.
Since you called him "this guy" I am assuming they are not engaged. Here is a link that might be useful: A free page debating book written by a former winner of the World Schools Debating Championhip. As far as my DD. Statistically young marriages don't work over all. However, young marriages between well educated people statistically do work. My DD is She has her masters.
She has completed her premed. They have been together for 2 years. They have talked of marriage but neither is rushing things. He's finished school, she still has 4 years, plus internship,etc. I completely trust her judgement.
Rant: to rant is to speak in a violent, loud or vehement manner. I cannot hear you or see you on this forum therefore all I have to go on is your words.
You used the word rant. Emotions are fine in a live debate but ranting is not acceptable behavior. Maybe rant wasn't the word to use. But try to remember that words are everything in a written medium.
Bluesbarby, perhap you should have looked up the definition of "Rant. Apparantly, "rant" was the correct word to use! Violent and Vehement are not words that define rant.
I have never heard of a study referencing the divorce between "YOUNG" educated and non educated people, and certainly have not seen statistical information. With that said, their is a theory among researchers that educated WOMEN with graduate degrees are less likely to get a divorce.
But to state a theory as a fact is to mislead your readers. Especially when you know the reasoning behind this theory and know that it has nothing to do with being "young.
Weeks of dating turned into months. Then, the months added up to two years. The time had come to answer the question that had always been the elephant in the room, or in this case, the black cat. Feb 01, A cat shouldn't get to the shorter end of the stick, because a person were dating a someone allergic to cats. A cat owner made a life commitment to a life and welfare of a cat, when a person becomes a cat owner. A cat shouldn't get tossed aside due to a new relationship. The cat is going to be offended when you take their spot on the bed. The person you're dating will probably take the cat's side. You're just going to have to deal with it. 7. Show up with a present for the cat - or at least be genuinely excited to see it when you're .
Let me enlighten you:. The National Vital Statistic System has stated that college educated women are marrying and having children later in life. It is expected that this also will effect the rate of divorce.
This same study shows that women are postponing marriage and entering the workforce. A study from Penn State stated that the divorce rate is less in those couples where one is the primary income. Male or Female. The divorce rate is higher in those that contribute equally. A dually educated and working couple! As you can see, for you to make a simple statement regarding the educated and divorce is to leave out many variables. It seems that your comment is not based in any type of fact.
Again, please post your source! But, on the same note, their have been studies to show that women who are educated are MORE likely to get divorced because they do not depend on their mate.
Dating someone with cats
Also, recent studies have shown that professional women are more likely to get divorced. In a Survey of Income and Program Participation concluded that in marriages where women work more hours the divorce rate is higher as opposed to families where the men work more hours, the divorce rate doesn't change.
So, you can imagine the pickle I'm in dating someone who is very, very allergic to cats. At first he tried to play it off and simply pop an antihistamine, but it wasn't cutting it. At first he tried to play it off and simply pop an antihistamine, but it wasn't cutting it. jankossencontemporary.com has been reconstructed with a new mission - to bring you and other cat owners together to socially share the mutual love for cats as well as your "PURRsonal" and mutual stories, interests, hobbies, feelings and other cts of life with your cat.
In addition, it was found that when both partners are working divorce rates are higher. Yet, it remains statisticly true that young marriages usually end in divorce. Psychologically speaking, the maturity needed for marriage is not reached until approx. Again, by pyschological standards, from the age of 15 - 20 you are preparing for adulthood and the ages are when you actually learn how to be an adult.
Marriages during this learning phase are generally disasterous. That is why relationships during this time are expected to end, they are all part of your learning experience and preparing you for marriage.
Hey, btw, if he has finished school, why not go wherever your DD is accepted to Med-School. Like I said, that is a ton of work to toss out the window. I got my definition of rant from the American Heritage Dictionary, word for word. Hardly work tossed out the window, it's not like she's going to start digging ditches. Her education can be used in other fields. He's got a job, in a field where it would be difficult to procure another of it's type easily. Statistics can often be misleading.
You can throw studies at me, I can throw studies at you. If one out of 2 marriages fail then you must be divorced because I'm not, right? That's a statistic based on certain controls. I may not fit into those same controls and you might not. Statistics only help to form "theories". I have found in my practice that well educated couples usually last longer. Your theory said the same at least regarding educated women. That theory was based on stats.
Oh and I said nothing about double incomes. Bluesbarby, Your daughter sounds like a wonderful, intelligent woman who has quite the level head on her shoulders and I'm sure she'll succeed at whatever she ultimately goes in for - including marriage. Cnetter - I wasn't trying to imply her daughter would not suceed, I was simply stating statistics. Just what the odds are, for the sake of the debate.
That comment shows your complete musunderstanding of how statistics are derived. A statistic is no way, no how, not under any circumstance a "theory. Now, with that said; yes, statistics can be manipulated for ones gain.
This is generally and more frequently seen in business situations. Yet, it is not frequently seen on statistics that are based on psychological or sociological findings. One has nothing to gain in manipulating these statistics.
It is their intention to learn about these interactions, not to manipulate data for some grander purpose! Also, I am surprised that the Am Heritage Dictionary only lists one definition for the word "rant. I am assuming you just choose the definition that suited your purpose, hardly fair!
Ok, first I listed Princetons Dictionary. I can further substantiate my interpertation of this word with the definition found in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Also, still, you refuse to answer my questions or post your own sources that I requested. What's up with that? You think that my "ranting" does not belong in this debate, yet you refuse to answer my questions.
Hardly a good trait to possess in debate. And these statistics are provided by the US Census Bureau. Actually, your whole purpose of debate at this point seems to be to support your original statement:. Which is an implication that you think her daughter will not succeed. And not just not succeed, but to be crazy to even think about trying. I'm wondering why you felt a need to do such a personal attack in the first place, and why spend so much time trying to support this attack.
Statistics are completely irrelevant when applied to a situation this complex. This is not a controlled experiment and the "odds" mean nothing anyway.
I didn't mean it as a personal attack. Bluesbarby was trying to add to the analogy the situation her daughter is in. Bluesbarby has shown that she does not agree with choosing the pet over a human mate and then tried to introduce the idea of sacrifice for those we love. I was merly stating that I did not agree with her analogy because I do think giving up on Med School for a boyfriend is insane.
No, this is not a controlled experiment. But, in my opinion, the situation is not complex at all! To the contrary of what some believe, statistics and psychological standards play a great roll in the human makeup.
The "odds" mean a great deal! Sociologists and psychologists alike, in general, would recommend a young person pre approx. Again, I was just trying to draw the conclusion which, yes, went astray that comparing her daughters giving up on Med School for a BF to Vacuumfreaks situation didn't help prove her point to ME. I can see how one may have seen this as a personal attack and that is my error. I apologize. Again, I was only listing statistics, not trying to say her DD will not be sucessfull in whatever path she choices.
I am amazed that her DD found time to cultivate a new relationship while in the midst of Pre-Med and still keep her GPA high enough to obtain an interview into a School of Medicine! That says something about her there and not something bad.
They do when applied to a population large enough to be statistically significant. When applied to an individual, they mean nothing because there are too many uncontrolled variables. In a statistically large enough population, these variables tend to even out. Or, did you think I meant the whole population?
I meant just in this situation which involves just one person. I'm beyond studying probability and statistics. It was part of my job. I just had the usual psychology required by those getting a scientific degree. But, I do understand quite well how to collect and use data.
I do have to wonder about the above statistics you quoted, since sooo many people I know were married in their early 20's right out of collegedual income, well educated. And still married 25 or more years later 25 for me this year. Granted, this is just anecdotal data and totally statistically insignificant, but to encounter so very many anomalies? I know it's not be scientific to say this - but it just doesn't "feel" right. If I had time, I'd look into it more.
That was the statement from the original OP. That was what I was responding to initially. Yes I get my animals for forever, however, if I gave birth to a child that was allergic I would pick the child first. That's why I used that example. So no, sometimes having a pet for forever isn't possible.
Then everything kind of escalated from there. I never said statistics were a theory - actually just the opposite, that statistics are used to form theories. Here are the 3 definitions from the American Heritage: 1. To utter with violence or extravagance: a dictator who ranted his vitriol onto a captive audience. You keep asking me to answer your questions. What question have I not answered? And thanks everyone who commented positively about my daughter.
She's a wonderful young woman, mature beyond her years and extremely smart. I do agree, it's been probably 35 years since I took Statistics and I truly hated every moment of it. However, I do have my PHD in psychology. I think it would definetly depend upon the area you live in. For example, Neveda has the highest divorce rates so one who lives their would form a very different opinion then one who lives in Massachusetts, which has the lowest divorce rates.
So your data may just be local. Whereas, I look down my street and see a handful of couples in their mid 20's divorcing. Also, by psychological standards, we are all very, very alike. While, ofcourse, their are exceptions that is all they are.
Humans as a whole, divided by gender tend to mature at the same rate and will respond similarly to similar situations depending upon a few variables in ones own situation. To assume psychological standards do not apply to individuals is inaccurate. It is this perdictability of the human makeup that makes psychology so sucessfull.
BTW, I am one of the exceptions. I met my husband at the ripe age of 20, married at Yet, I still believe in the statistics. Sorry, I posted my last message while you were posting. Didn't realize you have your Ph. D in psychology, what field do you work in? Perhaps I should have been more specific and stated Psychometric Quantitative Psychology.
Please explain how I am "getting so personal. What is your source? I am truly interested! You are stating the oppisite is true. Please, where is your information from?
what if you were dating someone allergic to cats?
Oh, boy. Hadn't read this post for a while. I wasn't really sure why the post was made since the topic was pretty much dead. As for dating and young marriages, that is off topic!! However, since you started it My first reaction, of course knowing nothing about your DD, is I also thought it was odd to give up med school for marriage.
I would only hope that some day she would not regret that, but there is obviously a lot of thought behind it. I also think adams has a valid point about more educated people generally waiting longer so they can finish their education. But your comment 'From what my DD's have said, there aren't that many great guys out there' - she is only 24!!
So, there shouldn't be any rush to find a guy and get married. I'm not sure how old your other daughters are. My DH likes to comment on how when he was in college all the woman he knew were in such a hurry to get married - that was all they cared about - as if being a decent person depended on finding a husband and a rich, successful one at that.
His comments always surprised me because the woman I knew were nothing like that. First of all Bluesbarby, I love your post on April 4th: "This guy might be the love of her life. I have a hunch that Vacuumfreak would be flattered to be a woman Had you read the posts you would know that.
May 05, It was believed that you should always choose a dog dude over a cat dude for dating, because clearly the cat dude was someone who straddled the border between crazy and asexual. Mar 20, Seeing the guy you're dating pick up and cuddle your cat gives you the same (or more intense) feeling as when you see him hold a baby. The cat is permanent; you're replaceable. Mar 05, When Dating Someone with Teenage Children, Act Like a Cat. and entering the jungle with someone new you're seeing can be even more difficult. children is to be a jankossencontemporary.com: Tara Blair Ball.
You keep proving the same thing over again with each post you make starting with the first. You are here for the entertainment value, thanks for the laugh! Especially since Jr came first He knew from the get-go that I would have a big dog, and it would be just as soon as I had a fenced yard [so I could get a rescue] If he ever told me 'It's me or the dog,' I'd take my huge, expensive, klutzy, bed-hogging, messy, gorgeous, spoiled 'baby' and never look back.
From your other post, Fooscub, your allergic guy and the new furry family member seem to be getting along famously! I doubt you shall ever have that for an issue! After dating for a few months, my now-husband told me he'd started getting allergy shots.
There's a lot you can to to minimize the impact of your cat on someone who's allergic, but some people are so allergic that it's impossible.
My nephews start sneezing and get hives if a cat hangs out on their porch, even if they don't go outside. I still have my cat, and they don't have problems if they come over to my house for a few hours.
Mom gives them Benedryl before they come, and most of our furnishing choices were made to minimize the cat's impact on my husband. No carpet, few curtains, washable slipcovers, whole house Hepa filter, etc.
Also, ask Mr. Wonderful if he's willing to even try to accommodate your cat down the road. My kitty is 15, and I'm not planning to replace her when she goes.
Unfortunately, my husband now loves cats and must be physically restrained from bringing home kittens. Something to consider. Clean clean clean is the trick to reducing the allergens.
Also bathing the cats if you can, I never could is supposed to help. My sis does this. I'd also like to say that when my Mother in Laws husband moved in with her they discovered he was severly allergic to cats. He held out for awhile to see if he would adapt. He never did so they had to find a new home for the two cats. A little while down the road we were trying to rehome our Sphynx hairless cat with a family member.
They ended up taking her and the husband has had no allergy problems. While the allergy probs are usually caused by dander, the dander is made worse because it is shed with the hair. In addition, Sphynx cats need to be wipped down daily with a damp cloth because of the oils on their skin which also helps reduce dander without receiving the wounds you will undoubtly get if you try to bath a cat!!
Our Sphynx, although registered, we saved from a cat mill is by no means a perfect hairless. She has patches of hair throughout her body. The hair she has is short, much like that of a Cornish Rex. Cornish Rex is a very short haired breed that also works well for people with allergies. My boyfriend moved in with me 3 years ago. His two youngest children visit every other weekend.
His son is allergic to cats, dust. Now three years later it has become more of an issue. His son is 16 and I think he is using it as an excuse to not come as often and for messing up in school because he told his father he is sick for a week when he comes here. When he is here he is up all night on the computer, watching movies, not even going in the other bedroom where the cat hardly goes.
We have broken up and my heart is breaking. I have had my cat for 13 years since he was weeks old. This is so heartbreaking and also making me angry because all of a sudden it is a bigger issue. A cat shouldn't get to the shorter end of the stick, because a person were dating a someone allergic to cats. A cat owner made a life commitment to a life and welfare of a cat, when a person becomes a cat owner.
How To Date & Love Someone With Depression
A cat shouldn't get tossed aside due to a new relationship. Whether or not the cat likes you is a huge make-or-break in any potential relationship. The cat is going to be offended when you take their spot on the bed.
It is a companion, an equal, and you should not treat one like a subordinate. And its owner is going to heed that advice. We deal with it, too. If our cat instantly warms to you and likes you more than it likes us, we will resent you just a little.