Impossible. dating someone with adhd buzzfeed doesn't matter!

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I have been reading a lot about it, but I would like to hear from some of you about experiences you have had and how do you manage to overcome the difficulties. But I wonder how many more things like that will I have to overcome? One VERY important thing to mention is that I do love him and I am willing to give it a really fair try and that is why I am educating myself. He may interrupt you constantly. Stop him gently, he is not being rude. Give him a nudge. He will do several things at once, and not finish any of them.

If you're the partner of someone with ADHD, it's crucial that you also support their treatment program and educate yourself about the disorder. This attitude could discourage someone with ADHD from getting treatment that could change their life and turn a relationship around. The start of relationships are always more fun.

And because people with ADHD tend to thrive with novelty and spontaneity, this part of the relationship can seem effortless. On the flipside, some symptoms of ADHD, such as forgetfulness and inattention, could be mistaken as a lack of interest in the beginning - which could put off potential partners.

Not to mention, even if the person with ADHD is diagnosed and treated, they still might hesitate to tell a new partner because of the stigma around the disorder.

Often known as "being in your own little world. In the context of relationships, it can mean the person with ADHD initially puts all of their focus and energy into their new partner - dropping everything to see them, showering them with attention, listening to every little story. And then suddenly, everything changes," Ramsay says. Then suddenly, they might forget about a date or show up late to for an important event.

Because of this, people with ADHD might find themselves consistently losing partners at this phase or only dating people for several months or a year at a time. Relationships are an endurance sport, and sometimes people with ADHD sprint too hard in the beginning and burn out. Maybe you were telling your partner about a new project at work when their eyes drifted to the floor, or maybe they couldn't repeat a basic detail you told them minutes earlier. Because of this, the partner with ADHD may have to ask you repeatedly about details to make up for those gaps in their attention, which can cause tension.

In order to help this problem, Ramsay suggests having conversations face-to-face and checking in with your partner every few minutes to make sure they're with you - and also being willing to repeat some information if they did wander off. Part of dating someone with ADHD is accepting that they can be excessively chatty at times, he says, but sometimes the nonstop narrative can really wear you out.

It's like your brain's notepad or to-do list for recent information. When this is impaired, you can get easily distracted from the task at hand. All these broken promises can have real consequences. At the same time, their partner may feel horrible guilt and shame. Your phone might work for this, but the experts agree that phones can also be very distracting. So another option is to carry a notebook with you and write everything you need to do or remember in there.

They are always late, can't stick to a schedule, fail to meet deadlines, and may not even show up," Barkley says. This is because ADHD makes it very difficult for people to predict how long it takes to do something, which can be frustrating for their partner. Time management is a skill that people with ADHD will probably have to work on their whole lives. But the experts agree that it helps to use alarms, reminders, and If you date someone with ADHD, it may feel like every time you leave the house your partner will forget their phone, keys, or wallet.

Maybe they always misplace important bills, lose jewelry, or leave their credit card at the bar. Forgetfulness is a major problem in individuals with ADHD, says Barkley, and it can make them seem quite disorganized and careless. Part of solving this problem is the partner with ADHD learning the right coping strategies - like using a planner or journal, sticky notes, and phone alerts to remember things. It's also important for their partner to try not to interpret the forgetfulness as intentional, Ramsay says.

And if you share a car, just have more than one set of keys. In any shared living situation, there will always be one person who is neater than the other - it's usually not the one who has ADHD. They tend to kind of take over a space with their stuff, Ramsay says, and this is an easy point of contention in the relationship.

11 Things You Should Never Say to People with ADHD and Why! (VEDA day 23)

Their desk may have piles of papers or the garage might be full of half-finished art projects. However, it's not always because the partner with ADHD is a messy person.

So no matter how tempting it might be for the person without ADHD to clean up the clutter, they should always consult their partner first - otherwise this could be stressful and disorienting.

Yes, the symptoms of ADHD have a sexual ct, too. Observe if he is ashamed if he fails to keep an agreement or if he knows how to still feel positively about himself even when he makes a mistake. Especially when he makes a mistake. Praise him lavishly when he is doing well and observe if he gives himself credit when he achieves or does something that feeds your relationship in a positive way.

I just mean that it works better to keep things positive and away from shame. I highly recommend books by Melissa Orlov. A great benefit of this reading is learning how to see ADHD for what it is as opposed to misinterpreting ADHD and instead seeing character flaws and forming negative judgments which activate shame and withdrawal on his part and result in a downward spiral. I dated a guy with ADHD for almost 2 years, and as you, by the 4th month I started to try to better understand him through research.

You will see some changes, yes, but they will be temporary until you start nagging him again. Angelika, I really appreciate your advice, it sounds to me that you really tried to make it work with your ADHD partner. As to me I do hear you and all the others that tell me to run, but I also hear the success stories and, to be honest, I rather focus on those ones. I might be naive or bind to the true facts because I am in love.

Thanks again for taking the time to write and your advice. I really, truly appreciate it! In fact, at one point, after reading some of the negative responses I asked him if he was happy being married to me, and he looked stunned.

He told me he loves it. But, in our case, I happen to be better organized than my husband, and I find that irritating at times. But sometimes one of us just tired and cranky! We are long past the hyper-focus phase of our year marriage, but we love being together.

And I know he feels the same way. Yes, I definitely have problems. I tend to get depressed and have anxiety problems sleeping periodically. I definitely have problems staying focused or I can be hyper focused. This is about finding a person who is caring and interested in succeeding in a relationship with you. People with ADD are very sensitive, and smart. You would be taking a risk no matter who you got involved with. The main difference here is you have a label and a set of symptoms that will be more pronounced in some areas than others.

Explain to me all the things you do that make you a better person. What have you done to other people or within a relationship that might be considered unhealthy, unkind, thoughtless, self-centered, etc.? I bet you could name a few things. That means a lot and gives me, an ADHDer, a lot of hope. I wish you and your relationship the best! I am two months in with my boyfriend. We live a couple hours away from each other, so we have to schedule time together. He is on meds, and for the most part they work for him.

But he has bad days and i have been super supportive. For example, yesterday his fridge broke. Instead of just throwing it away and getting a new one he decided to fix it.

After hours of texting, he exhausted himself into sleep. I was exhausted too. Keeping up with his mood and trying to help him get clarity on the fridge situation drained me. Today i have not heard from him. I am worried, but my instinct is to back off and let him have space. Then i second guess myself and wonder if he is ok. This all falls dangerously into codependence, which i cannot and will not participate in.

So i am at an impass - i realize hes probably in a thought hole today. But then silence is unsettling. Ive been told not to feel ignored by my add bf. So i do my thing. But i have to say it is not pleasant to be overwhelmed and then have him disappear the next day. He is a loving, kind, awesome, special man. And i love him dearly. I feel like im on a rollercoaster a lot.

Dating Someone With Adhd Buzzfeed, frumster dating profiles, who is brooke davis dating, dating a single mom with a son. The simple way to meet for sex. MeetBang lets you enjoy the benefits of dating without Dating Someone With Adhd Buzzfeed having to give up the excitement of being single. Find sexy singles and couples anywhere, anytime/ Dramabuzzfeed employees shade safiya in their partners at buzzfeedvideo on facebook: //on. Were pretty standard nowadays, new york's kingfish labs could make it was dating buzzfeed. Dont stay with adhd can make its fb. Free speed dating someone with someone has bipolar than 22, i have add it as a roster of joy in 10 different. Loving someone who has ADHD can make your life crazy if you don't get a grip on it. The doctors prescribe medication. The therapists tell you what to do, but your home is as wild as a college frat house. A person with ADHD can be hard to live with. The thought patterns and behaviors of a person with ADHD never go away.

I have been in dysfunctional relationships before, but this is not one of them. I just need to understand the ebbs and flows of how his mind works. I can only give it to you from a female having ADD. I know early on in our relationship I could be very unreasonable and moody just add PMS into that! I think hormones play into it a lot too, male or female. But, you also need to set limits. The one thing that was always helpful to me was knowing what those were. The disappearing thing is kind of self indulgent, frankly.

I would definitely ignore that and go on with my life. If it continues or gets worse, then you have some decisions to make. Still, it sounds like he must have some very good qualities too. Hope it works out for you Kikioreekee.

Thank you anne. Unfortunately we cant blame youth, he is I dont think he understands how much his drama affects me. I need to be more mindful of boundaries. Alanon helps. Everyone is different, and I find a very low dose of Adderall helps me immensely. The alanon is for me and my past with my family. I think his inability to prioritize things is what messes everything up. In fact, the information retrieval issues with ADD are worse under pressure so the more you badger, the less likely he is to come up with the information.

Typical example:. You were there last week. Can you give me directions? Well was it THIS side of the highway, or the other? Well, did you turn off before 14th street or after?

Hello Morena. My advice to you, since this is a boyfriend and not a husband, is to permanently go away from him as fast as you can go. Like the other poster saidRUN. Wait a minute! We non-ADHDers need more from life than a prison with an empty person. Lastly let me say that in the beginning they put their best efforts forwardremembering special dates, letting you talk and pretending to listen, being affectionate, picking out a restaurantthat sort of thing.

All of that is a real struggle for them. My spouse did this for 10 years before I started noticing that something was wrong. He never told me he was ADHD. I had to discover it for myself and when I told him my diagnosis, he laughed and said I was right! You will, at some point, begin to feel like you need to get out and breathe.

If you have children you will begin to notice that you have children and an adult child who will never grow up. They are totally self-absorbed. My last point for you is to carefully study Donald Trump. He is ADHD and he keeps his family close because they cover for him. He tells lies and swears he never said them even though there are videos of him doing so.

He says horrible things because he is unable to discipline himself. He starts a speech about one issue and after 2 minutes begins to talk about something altogether different usually the only thing he is interested in which is most always that he won the popular vote.

He makes stuff up and then believes it to be a fact and becomes delusional. Notice how everyone has to work around him? My life with my spouse is very similar to living with a Donald Trump.

At first you feel sorry for them what kind of character does one have who will leave someone who needs you? Then you vow you can and will FIX them and seek help.

was and

Afterall, you always wanted to be a mother, nurse, and teacher and have a permanent 5 year old. It is good that you are asking for advice and you probably are getting the usual advice. How does that make you feel? If you want to be alone for the rest of your life, be sure and foster your relationship with the ADHD guy. Choose wisely. I am reading more posts. I am not perfect either.

He acknowledges that he has ADHD and is willing to be on medication. Nice he quits the pot, I think he will be out back on the medicine. Remember that a big part of ADD is information access.

The info is there but needs to be triggered. Remember I have that concert? The things my sister who is also my best friend does to make things run smoothly without treating me like a child:. This arrangement works for both us, because she tends to run late. When there are important family dates approaching, she finds a way to bring them up in conversation without being patronizing.

Do you have any ideas? Offers to help with the stuff she knows I get overwhelmed by, but also asks for my help in the areas where she struggles and I excel. She recognizes me as an adult with strengths and weaknesses just like anyone else. And why do you feel the need to bring Trump into this? My brother has ADHD, and he is nothing like this. He is forgetful and can be scattered, but he has a wonderful family, he works hard and he is very thoughtful and kind.

Sex is better than ever after 30 years. If you are doing all the work, feeling embarrassed, not getting sex, and putting up with bad behavior all these years, then you probably have some issues, too. Why did you never leave? It took you 10 years to figure out he was a jerk, and then you stayed anyway? What am I missing? Believe me. The 1 thing we do so well to our partners is put up an air of confidence and sureness. Deep down we are ashamed and embarrassed of our shortcomings normal neuros have.

This causes us to be very envious and to suppress it, we to our further embarrassment have to fuel our egos some way. My partner had the same frustrations as you and the other kind ladies that have posted. Yes, we will be bringing our frustrations home from work.

Know that when he says sorry. When you know he is, a hug says more than words. Remember to let us make those mistakes, and give us a hand only when we ask for it. Take care of yourself first, that way you indirectly take care of your partner. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and a few months now, he also has ADHD i love him and I know that he loves me too. He does apologize for not pitching but ends up doing it again even though I see that he tries sometimes and I always tell him that I appreciate his efforts.

I get tired of him keeping quiet everytime after an argument. Sometimes he can be very selfish and puts his emotions first. His a great guy, funny, intelligent, jolly, crazy, kind, loving his sense of humour is out of this world and I love him a lot and I really want our relationship to work I want him to also ride with me and not let me do a lot on my own.

I understand that its not easy having ADHD its tough like he always says but we got to work as a team in order to go further. I cant always be the one trying to reach out even when his on the wrong side.

I have decided to not say a word and just see if his going to reach out. Also him not pitching when he said he would then goes AWOL the whold day. How to I tackle this. He can, but it will always be effort. Every day I question why I stay in this relationship. There is an article by Dr. I find it impossible to reason with my boyfriend because, well, he is incapable of reasoning due to the ADD and perhaps some other neuro-dysfunction. All I can do is be mute when there are problems and move on.

The other is, my boyfriend does not take any meds and refuses to do so. He may have tried one med for one week, or he might have tried one or two with no follow-up or changes for a year, or he might have taken them on an irregular schedule. None of this would surprise me. Can I just say that reading this has helped me. I have ADHD and have recently gotten into my first relationship in 4 years. Hearing about the behaviors of people with ADHD and how they effect their partners terrifies me.

Reading this has helped me become a better partner. I strive very hard to a good boyfriend, I try to take complete responsibility for my actions, and ask for regular feedback from my girlfriend. I am also sober an attend 12 step meetings. My girlfriend is supportive of that we met after I had become sober.

I know that my life and my relationships are tremendously better when I put my sobriety and management of MY ADHD before anything else in my life. Patrick, it sounds as if you have a good awareness of your personal challenges. I think that is key, and should help remove the terror you have! Has the step program helped provide you with greater personal awareness? Also, just wondering, are you on ADHD meds? If I presented my boyfriend with three questions in a row like that, it would be a problem, so I apologize for that.

I take my medication everyday and it is vital for my success. I am on 20mg of extended release Adderall Although I have had problems recently forgetting if I have taken it or not. I always carry a few extra in my bag in case I forget to take it or I stay the night at my girlfriends. I had had therapy and counseling in the past but have not had any since I graduated college 6 years ago.

The 12 steps have helped me with my personal awareness because they have taken me through a process of looking at my past, seeing a pattern of behavior, what part I have played in troubles in my life, allowing me to take responsibility for my actions, then looking at traits and behaviors that I want to have and working towards becoming that person. I am not sure if your boyfriend has addiction issues, so I can only speak for myself.

But when I realized that my ADHD and my alcoholism were connected and they could never managed separately, there was a big improvement. I give up! WHY do women in particular keep trying to fix their partners?

Dating someone with adhd buzzfeed

Or, at the very least, why do they keep putting up with bad behavior and make excuses? Is being in a relationship so important, that the only goal is to have one no matter how poorly the other person is treating you?

I truly appreciate the people who post, and are trying to learn more about ADHD. But when I read that a woman is in a relationship with a man who is basically treating her like crap, and she is bending over backwards to make him happy, I want to scream.

Have you ever noticed that no one posts talking about how they finally found the solution to making the man who is being a complete jerk into a kind, loving and thoughtful person? IF he decided to get therapy or stop abusing drugs, alcohol, etc. Must be fun. However, this sort of thing has been going on from the beginning. That does not mean you can do it on your own, it means you have to take responsibility and get help. I know that a person had to come to terms with it on their own.

You have to save yourself. It sucks but you have to protect yourself. I am sorry you have to deal with this. AnneHW you actually right ey we should stop making excuses for them my friends always say that too all that you said makes perfect sense ey. Thank you for the advice ey.

know nothing

Patrick keep it up ey if you can try so can they nothing is impossible all it takes is effort. I read this whole thread and finally saw someone bringing God into the equation. Prayer and church going has helped me declutter my mind. It takes the chaos away and gives me a constant thing I can focus on. I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD August and it explained everything to me about my life up to that point.

My wife 24 years is still struggling to understand just how this disability affects me. We are working on communicating better. My doctor told me that it takes me abut 3 times the energy to focus and get something done. Sometimes my brain just gets tired from all the focusing. I spent all last year working 50 hour weeks, then going home physically and mentally exhausted.

I was missing things. Not turning off the stove.

19 Illustrations That Sum Up Being In A Relationship When You Have ADHD. Dating someone with ADHD can come with a lot of benefits. Share This Article. Feb 27,   Id love any feedback from those with adhd or married to/dating someone with adhd. Let me say this, he is a great guy and when he is in the zone he is loving and very supportive. Id like to try to understand him and work with him and he wants to do better, but hasnt made much effort. May 23,   Navigating dating and relationships can sometimes be challenging. When you add ADHD into the mix the challenges can intensify. Many people who suffer from ADHD report they have difficulty managing relationships and some researchers say that the divorce rate is nearly twice as high for those with ADHD. Issues with organization, time-management, paying attention and figuring out where and .

Not locking the front door. Not closing cabinets etc. I tried a few different medications and I am now on Adderall, which is working pretty well. Over Christmas I took 2 weeks off and my brain started to recover. There are good days and very bad days. Some days I am emotionally disconnected with the world, including my wife.

Its not personal. Its just the way I am. Even people with ADHD need love. We are people too! Imagine this - I am 70 years old and this wonderful man who is 65 years old waltzes into my life. I have always been very organized so there is no physical manifestation of my ADD.

I did that because I thought he should know me better and see that chaos is not just around the corner.

excellent interlocutors

So he is telling me a story and reveals that he is ADHD. I thought not both of us. Appararently he has a beautiful apt in Georgetown which is a disaster - so he is divorced and unmedicated by choice - he told me he has problems with dates - I told him was going to have to stick whicth me because I was the only one who would understand why he is the way he is. I am a 39 year old woman dating a 29 year old man with ADHD. He is totally frustrating me.

We have been together for 6 years. My boyfriend does extremely odd to me dumb things all the time. I have even woke up to my house door unlocked over night several times because he came in the house last. Trips over the kids stuff laying around the house, falls down stairs You name it he has done it. He will leave things places - like go to our corner store and leave items. Like I have to repeat everything to him. He is extremely delayed.

I tell him to go right then he goes left, I tell him to go left then he goes right. He had a car that he could not afford from the inception of the loan and that got repoed. He is obsessed with working out and playing basketball because that is the only thing he is good at and gets compliments from. He has no children of his own. So to satisfy him wanting a kid I go out and buy a dog He has been totally irresponsible with the dog and even mean to the dog.

The dog actually hated him and he finally had to accept that and rebuild his relationship with the dog. He was only being mean to the dog because the dog would get into his stuff that he would have laying around. He has asked me to marry him several times and I finally told him to stop asking me until he can come with a ring.

He has totally ruined his credit by being irresponsible. On the up side he is an extremely sweet guy and totally loves me and my kids. He to me is equivalent to a Cave Man. He always says sorry and expect that to fix things that he does or breaks.

I feel as though he has no regard for the things he does. For the last 3 years I worked on being nicer to him. I do not yell at him. I try my hardest to use tender words. I try to explain things to him. In return he is just extremely frustrated and now yells a lot. He yells at me, the kids, the dog, the tress, the wind, anything you can think of frustrates him.

It sounds like you put a long of energy and love into the relationship and get little in return. That must be exhausting. All of his problems are becoming yours.

Thats a difficult situation. His ADHD will never get better until he recognizes how much of a problem it is and takes responsibility. My suggestion, you have to what is best for you and your children.

Thats what is most important. Best of luck. Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate your response. I know I have to let him go and that will most likely be what happens. Life is too short and I am not getting any younger. You are looking at a very long road indeed.

Definitely not. That is why the kid thing is no longer an option with him. I would never want to raise a child to deal with that.

have hit

Dear nvbrooks: I hear you and I totally understand where you are at. It sounds as if you needed to let off some steam. First, you are not wrong or crazy. Second, you are not alone.

I have also been seeing a therapist for three years not because of my relationship with an ADD man, but to learn more about myself, yet it has helped me greatly to understand things. What I have to say is that it will never change. But he is not going to change.

have hit the

The question you asked was what could you or he do to salvage the relationship? It now becomes what can YOU do? The only thing you can do is change yourself. Accept what he is like, learn to live with, adjust and accommodate it.

And right along with that, start putting yourself first after your children, of course! Every day YOU matter. If the things he does are presenting safety issues, you MUST do something. The well-being of your children and yourself is your first priority. That is an absolute. What is your point about a ring? What will that change? If he presents a ring, my first question would be: how did you pay for it? I think you should spend more time on yourself and your children alone.

Read more about ADD. But start to get to know yourself and ask why you are in this relationship?

19 Illustrations That Sum Up Being In A Relationship When You Have ADHD

Are you afraid to leave it? Of being alone? Is there security in it? Do you feel sorry for him? Is it the sex? If he wants more, he has to make some changes.

Why people with ADHD make great dating partners

There will be no marriage and no living together, no shared financial responsibilities. I just sort of zero-out on that stuff, and try to enjoy the good stuff. Save yourself and your kids. They are what matter most. Its tough to hear but what is it inside of you that is staying with this man? The evidence is clear that he is not right and he is not going to change. Take responsibility, take action, grow, and survive. Or doing nothing, deny the truth, and die.

Those are choices. Thank you sooooo much for responding LuLu and Patrick you guys are totally amazing! I will come through this. You both have totally empowered me. I really needed this.

can consult

Good your not alone. Your powerful, your a mother of two children. Your strong. Seek help when you need it. Find people that have been in similar situations.

Stay strong and stay healthy. Not his.

Sep 12,   Dating someone with ADHD can bring on certain challenges and misunderstandings, but dating someone with a dynamic personality who thinks and acts differently from you brings its rewards as well. If you're not familiar with the traits associated with someone with ADHD, many people can underestimate the impact it can have on a Ashley Papa. Dating someone with adhd buzzfeed - Find a woman in my area! Free to join to find a woman and meet a man online who is single and seek you. Men looking for a woman - Women looking for a woman. Register and search over 40 million singles: chat. Here's What You Should Know About Dating Someone With ADHD. PhD, co-director of the Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania, tells BuzzFeed Health. It's.

Gosh, I have to say, Patrick, that you have written two short but powerful sentences. You are right; it comes down to those two things. That is sad. He absolutely does not even see a problem. He says he tried meds 20 years ago and they made him a zombie.

I know that he was not working with an adult ADHD specialist. But he is unable to tell me what he took or for how long. Given my experience with him, he could have tried something for six weeks, six months or two years.

It turns out he was married to her for 7 years! Excellent posts above. The less I depend on someone else for my own happiness the less her quirks invade my peace and vice versa and since meeting her, already aware of many of my own failings I knew this would be a big one for me.

What do they say how the right people seem to often come into our lives at just the right time for us to learn and grow from if we so choose to? Well my partner with ADHD is pushing me to be more accepting and especially more reliant on self for happiness. Similar to most of the comments, he was focused and adoring initially but that excitement has waned. Many of things he said he wanted to do, he has not followed up on or spoke of after those initial conversations. And when I bring them up he usually has forgotten what he said and committed to.

Sometimes when we talk, he will jump between different topics and completley forget to ask me about my day or other areas of my life. If you ask him, he thinks our relationship is going great! Almost to the point of saying the L word. When we discussed the disconnect that I have been feeling he felt completely blindsided and was surprised.

The other thing is he feels completely inadequate when it comes to planning dates with me. We spend alot time talking on the phone, texting and hang out at home: cooking, lounging but I want to be dated lol Outside of my apartment when I spoke with him anout this he uses his ADHD excuse and doesnt feel like he can plan something that I will like.

agree, very

Im starting to feel like these issues are beyond adhd? Let me say this, he is a great guy and when he is in the zone he is loving and very supportive. Id like to try to understand him and work with him and he wants to do better, but hasnt made much effort. Initally it was hyper-focus and he announced he was in love with me for years.

I thought he was insane. And kind of ignored him. But he would call and we talked for hours. About his life and work and family. And he sent me flowers and kept saying he really wanted to be with me and was not joking or crazy.

I thought I had finally found IT! And we were not kids. He was 30 I was We were friends for 3 years before. Never knew him as anything but a funny, charming, great guy! We started dating. And I was showered with attention.

But never too much. After 5 months we were still in love. Then one day I brought Regular Coke instead of Diet. He flew off the handle. Yelling and telling me I was stupid. I LOST it! I am no shrinking violet. We were done. We went no contact for a month. I wanted nothing to do with him. He was a product of child abuse and always have trouble expressing anger without yelling and name calling. He loses his filter when he gets mad and says whatever comes to mind. To hurt the other and win. He was going to try because I meant everything to him.

Still have that text to prove it. We had a long talk and I agreed to try again. Well, I wish I could say it never happened again. We would fight. I would walk away, go for a drive. And still be hurt when we saw each other. And 10 minutes later he was fine! Things were good for a while and we moved it together 2 years later. Like a lot of ADHD sufferers, he is cool and collected outside and a dramatic ogre at home. The wrong kind of bread will set him off. He fit so many boxes: He dropped out of school at 15, No one cared.

He never stayed employed long and no serious relationships. Everyone else is wrong and stupid. Women are too emotional, and no one can take a joke. After a fight he expels his venom and feels better.

Energized and great. Ready to makeup and be in love. Sometimes I want to hit him with the skillet. I realize now that he does not want to be that mean guy. He has gotten this far acting one way and leaving a wake of relationships.

sounds tempting

But every time we fight, he is the one apologizing. He wants to be nicer to me. He tries not to say those things but it just comes out.

absolutely not

We can split anytime and things have gotten pretty heated. But he loves me and I love him. He needs professional guidance because the world does not make sense to him in some ways. Peoples reactions to him are soft and everyone gets offended too easily. He is up for surgery next year and once that is done, I am going to tackle telling him its time to get help.

I have tried to be his therapy and that not fair to us. We need a professional. The Dr. I would suggest that you only attempt the relationship if: 1. They want to seek help, 2.

But if there is a foundation of love and you can learn to respect boundaries it is possible. Props for you for being introspective and aware of your own feelings. Its important to realize that your happiness is dependent on her. That you have to feel okay and at peace when she is not around.

I should mention that to this day he has refused to sleep with me, which has been the source of a lot of my confusion. He was really intense for the first two weeks e.

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