Remember Me? Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 Last Jump to page: Results 1 to 10 of Thread: Dating someone whose last, serious partner died. Thread Tools Show Printable Version. Dating someone whose last, serious partner died. So after 11 months of long distance, I moved to California for my boyfriend.
I wanted to invite her, so I told her about it so she would have time to prepare if she wanted to go. I also told her some of her friends could come since it was a group thing. She said that she and her friends would probably go. However, my friends decided that they'd rather go the next weekend.
I told her this and then asked if she'd rather do something similar instead since it is close to Halloween Then it hit me Why the would she want to go to a cemetery when her boyfriend had just died 5 weeks prior? She said she didn't really want to do anything. I asked her if she meant for that particular day. She said that she didn't know.
After that text it hit me that I had f'ed up about the whole cemetery thing. I sent her a long ass message apologizing and explaining that i simply wanted to do something similar, and that I was a dumb ass for not thinking it through. I told her that I understood that she was still healing. I told her that she was someone I wanted to get to know. She never responded to any of this What do I do? I really like this girl. I know she just went through a pretty traumatic experience.
I'm not sure how long she was dating this guy. She is a freshman in college. I am a genuine guy looking for a serious relationship and not a random hookup. I'm aware that we've only been on two dates and things aren't that serious. Please help me.
It's not about the cemetery although that was awful. It will be several years before she is ready for another relationship. And probably at least a year before she is even interested in banging a random guy. She dated you because she thought she could put it all behind her. Now she has realised there is no way. You're out of luck she won't be seriously dating for a while if she truly loved the other guy, best you can do is try to stay in touch but give her space and when she's ready for another serious relationship you may be her first choice.
Trust me, I know it was awful.
So what's been done has been done. Where do I go from here? I'm planning on waiting a couple of days and then texting her, but not setting anything up as far as a date. Then I plan on seeing if she'll initiate the conversation after that.
Learning to love again (after the death of a mate) — Susan Winter
I'm not looking to just bang her. I felt a connection with this girl and I'm genuinely interested in her as a person. I know that doesn't change the facts on the situation, but I thought I'd just throw that out there. If I text her or try to stay in touch, what do I say? How do I go about it?
Sep 02, In total, something like a few weeks. Maybe a few months if she was particularly attached. My own experience on the subject of dating a girl that is grieving for a lost boyfriend: When I first met my wife on college swimming class, we were each. Aug 18, I'm a year-old guy dating a year-old lady whose high school boyfriend of two years died in their last year of high school, while they were still dating. The lady claims to love me so much and I love her even more, but she can't stop . Would you ever date someone whose ex died (while they were still very much in love)? Close. 4. Posted by. u/lexiuy. 1 year ago. My current boyfriend of 2 years doesn't and never has. I have a picture up of him (late bf) in our living room, but nothing distasteful or super "in your face" out of respect for my current bf. level 1. behamvaz.
I wouldn't date somebody five weeks out of a breakup, to be honest. Somebody who is grieving the death of an SO?
No way. Not anytime soon. Originally Posted by salyerj. Okay, fair enough. She isn't ready for dating. So how can I stay in contact with her? Should I stay in contact with her? If not, what do I say? Do I say that it isn't best for us to be talking, that I am interested in getting to know her more, and that she should contact me when she's in a better place? Basically, what should my text be?
Dating someone whose last, serious partner died.
Or do I just not text her back at all? I'm planning on texting her something in a couple of days. If she has any sense this is iffy she will realize that you did not mean any harm with the cemetery comment.
At the same time, it is true that she may not be ready to date, even though she may feel quite needy right now. However, why would she think I was unsure about how serious I was? I've initiated hanging out three times. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick.
Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Aaron Hubbard March 28,pm. So far wrong on this abby, sounds like your a man hater.
I have been with my girlfriend 9 years and every year she celebrates her dead ex and its super disrespectful. Its almost ended our relationship and may still, if death is not a reason to move on than there will never be one.
Dear Wendy March 28,pm. Yeah, ok, my name is wendy as clearly stated in the url and title of this site, but thanks for playing. Fyodor March 28,pm. Carl Joe August 25,pm. You should not be giving relationship advice at all, because rather than responding to the topic or offering constructive comments, you resort to name-calling, attacking and shaming people. You advocate therapy. Imagine a therapist talking to LW1 with your tone.
I studied psychology including counselling and psychotherapyand I am currently in a relationship. Anyone who knows a thing or two about counselling would cringe at your advice. The comments are even more dangerous. Just because a lot people agree with you does not mean that you are right. You set the tone for the comments, which are more destructive than constructive.
If he follows your advice, the relationship is headed for a break up. Think about it. If LW1 were a woman seeking advice, would you respond to her as you responded to him? Finally, notice how I made my points clear without attacking you.
How to Let Your Boyfriend Grieve the Death of His Ex
I was tempted to ask about your qualifications and competence in giving such an unremarkable or remarkable advice, but I held back. That would be Ad Hominem, if I had used your qualifications or lack thereof to attack and label you as incapable. Again, that would ad hominem. PS: I did not proofread this comment. Kate August 25,pm. It was straight explanation of what the OP asked about and good advice on how he needed to either accept his gf as she was, including her memories and grief over a lost relationship, or MOA and allow her to get on with her life.
They have all understood that a loving relationship ended by death never leaves you. You should stick with those whose prior relationships ended by breakup or divorce. JD March 28,pm.
Your GF is so lucky you are going to leave. Brad June 18,pm.
They were pretty upset and my son not really understanding was lost and confused so we left. My question is, how do I help this situation?
I need some guidance. MSG July 28,am. You can help the situation by being present with them, being there when they need and giving them time when they need. Everyone experiences the loss of a loved one differently.
You are there to support them because you love and care for their mommy.
Dating someone whose boyfriend died
MsG July 19,am. I was 22 when my boyfriend died. He was not an ex, he was my boyfriend. So that was unexpected, and you can imagine how shattered my life was to wake up one day with no closure to everything that had a start. Anyway, shortly after his death I met a guy.
It depends how well you know them. If you know them well, then I'm afraid I can't help (though, perhaps I should be glad I don't have such experience.) If you know them as an acquaintance, then I can only report what I did, at age 17, with a gi. Dating Someone Whose Boyfriend Died and plunge into her world of heaven and its too hard for Dating Someone Whose Boyfriend Died you to get back until tired. Wherever you are in the city or at any time, book our Pune call girls and experience the Dating Someone Whose Boyfriend Died real shades of pleasure/ Jun 24, Dating someone whose last, serious partner died. We have now been together for almost 13 months and I am a foreigner struggling to get another sponsor Visa with a job. (I was sponsored in New York but got laid off from my job, so I moved here to close the distance as a .
I was still grieving the loss of my boyfriend, but I felt ready to move on. I needed that guy the most to tell me everything will be okay and that he is there for me since I have nobody. I needed a new chapter in my life. But since he was jealous and felt competitive toward my dead boyfriend, he decided to step away from me and leave me hanging. I felt a second loss in a row!
I was so hurt and sad! Even though that guy decided to step away from me he still liked me a lot. Right away that guy called me and wanted to be in my life. Guess what? When I moved through my grieving process and moved on with my life, I moved on from that guy too.
That guy still likes me today. Too bad. Mini August 18,pm. But I later found out was his wife and I am pregnant. I feel so sad for him because he hurts I hurt.
Ask him to speak to a grief counselor. Be as supportive as you can and try to pull the focus to the future. Oracle August 19,am. This so called boyfriend is a lair. He will do to you what he did to his wife. You really have not gotten the whole trueful story. I bet the wife was sick this is barring some sudden accident and this guy was stepping out on a sick wife.
I do not care if he his given you the line they were separated, they were still married. What a gem. The baby comes first and stress is bad for both you and the baby. I am also betting there is also another women on the side. Stop worrying about this gem of a guy. Baby comes first. Smart Owl October 11,am. Especially, if that relationship was broke!
Oct 27, She was kind of iffy about it, but didn't say no. She missed the shot and I went to kiss her and she told me she couldn't. I was expecting her to tell me that she had a boyfriend, but she told me that her boyfriend had died a month ago. After she told me there was about a 10 second awkward pause. Dec 15, "Sometimes when someone loses a spouse they try to find someone to fill the void. Be careful that person isn't you. Be cautious dating anyone who has lost their spouse within the last months," says Fisher. 9. Don't try to fill a void left by the loss. Nobody jankossencontemporary.com: Ashley Papa. When anyone is grieving, you may find it tough to know exactly what to say. However, when your boyfriend is grieving an ex, you may find yourself struggling with your own feelings. Juggling your worry about his feelings for an ex and your desire to help him grieve can leave you wondering where to start. The good news.
But better to move on, life is to short to comfort someone who does not respect you! Suzanne November 16,am. Wow Wendy!
Sounds to me like you hate men. I, too dated a man who lost his ex to suicide three years prior to our date. This man was the very most emotionally and physically unavailable human being on planet earth. He had one foot in the grave with her.
I never wanted him to forget her or not remember her. But I wanted him to be available to the person in front of him giving him love and compassion. If any human being is still in the process of grieving which is fine! Your advice on this one is hideous and abhorrent. Dear Wendy November 16,am. JD November 16,am. Greg May 1,am. She was taken from me, quickly, by throat cancer.
Both are were amazing in their own way. Very different, but both with amazing strengths. Skyblossom May 1,pm. This was written by a woman whose husband had previously been married to a woman who died of cancer. I hope this helps. Bittergaymark May 1,pm. SkyBlossom is right. That is an amazing read. Bittergaymark May 1,am.
Greg, sorry about your loss. Those questions she keeps asking you are impossible to answer. Cody July 1,pm. Detach in love and let her finish grieving on her own time. Dee July 15,pm. LW1 Wow! I lost my fiancee who I was with 5 years, 10 years ago suddenly.
After a few years of grieving and trying to help his kids and family through this very long process, I met a man and dated him 3. This is a grown man how has such low self esteem that only my full attention made him feel complete. Some people will never understand it until it happens to them. I would love to see how he would feel losing someone he was ready to marry.
Son, you you have some serious growing up to do to be in an adult relationship. LW2 Dump that loser! You deserve much better! June July 15,pm. Its been years since I lost the man that I love. You just have to give her time. Remember there are going to be things that are going to remind her of him. Just try to be there. Ernest Hobbs August 23,am. The feedback and comments for the first story are rather aggressive.
This is a 22 year old who is still learning how to manage himself and those around him. But instead of guiding him, he gets lambasted from word 1.