Forums Cancer forum My first experience dating a Cancer male. By rhaina - March 28, am - 32 replies. You are on page 1 2 3 out of 3. I've been in four relationships in my lifetime, ranging from 6 months to 12 yrs. Aries-4 yrs, Aries yrs, Cap-1 yr but still friends , and Virgo 6 months.
I've always been the strong one in the family. At the time when they discovered the mass on my right kidney, my ex husband got hurt at work and wasn't making any kind of attempt to help me or anythingtaking care of my 6 year old and 3 year at the timebringing them to sports practices and games, bringing my daughter to dancing and recitals, taking care of house work, bills, etc.
I had cancer and didn't even know it. I was picking up my mom's oxygen tanks, wheel chair, etc. The dr. All this for 10 years. When I found out about the mass, I had to let them know. I didn't want to go through the surgery and have to then tell them I have cancer.
So, I called each family member and got such love and support. Especially, my mom, kids, and my aunt moms sister. I even postponed my surgery a week to see my daughter graduate. Because I didn't know what would happen and I at least wanted to see one of my kids graduate. I would stop to check on my mom 3 times a day. And as sick as she was she put how she felt aside to comfort me.
She would put my head in her lap and rub my back where the I was hurting. She would tell me, " you are not going before me!! That's was she called me. My mom died Aug 5, two months after I found out about the cancer, but I will never forget those 2 months for as long as I live.
I'm glad, no proud of the way I handled it and it gave my family time to deal for what might or might not happen. My kids are a blessing, I got my strength from them, and my Aunt was awesome and has since filled in for my mom.
Either way it's not easy to tell your family something like this, you just have to think about it and make your choice. You know your family. But I believe telling them now will make this whole process a little easier for you. I know it did me. Here for you my friend, Lisa. I am sorry that you even have to deal with any of this. But waiting is not going to help anyone in this situation. We all need time to develope coping skills to deal with our own problems.
I think your family deserves time to develope theirs. Your mother will be much stronger then you think and as a parent I want to know when my daughters are facing problems so I can help. Your family needs time to think things through and step up to the plate and help you when and if its needed. My parents went to church and added me to prayer lists. My brother and friends started benefits.
And my daughters who knew everything from the initial bump on my face to the end of my radiation were awesome. The night I was told I had cancer I went to work and stood in front of my whole shift and announced it. That took away the rumor mill and made it easier for them to ask questions. I have no regrets about keeping everyone informed about my medical problems. This week a nuclear stress test and heart scan.
My daughters and all of the parents were told. There could be nothing wrong with my wife but they have time to prepare if there is. My daughters are here today giving my wife the love and affection she deserves.
I guess all of this reminds me of the song "lean on me". Sometimes we all need someone to lean on. Good luck Tim. Well past couple of days have been a little longcan,t say i am doing well the waiting has finally caught up tome emotionally i guessI appreciate all the advice and have read each one it makes me feel god that people that i have never even met to take me under there wing LOLand just be frank and straight forward but gentle and kind it really has made a diffrenceHave you ever just made your self so sick you hurt well i found out the hard waybut am a lot better now Dr, gave me a good talking to and told me things were going to work out just have patience wich is hard but all the adviceis a plus and it makes my Day and Nights a lot better and meaningful well i just make it through tuesday now and see surgeon wed,s so am hoping for the best after seeing him Thanks everyone your all the best!!!!
Sincerely North Fl Tim. My thoughts and prayers are with you Tim and everyone else, not just Wednesday, but everyday.
And meeting all of you is the best thing to happen to me. I can speak for myself, but I have those bad days too. It was one of those days when I started chatting on this discussion board. I haven't had my five year check up yet, because I'm going through test on my heart.
Dating after cancer reddit
Friday I found out they were sent to a specialist cardiologist. So, I'm waiting again. But the waiting is easier talking to all of you. Love and Luck to all, Lisa. Well thanks to everyone facing the surgeon weds will be a lot easierhopefully i will ask all the right questions and come away feeling better about having the surgery scheduled at least Thanks Lisa D and everyone for support It has meant a lot Tim in North Fla.
I can imagine how scared you were Wednesday. I'm know all of us has been in that position.
I'm still waiting on my heart tests, so I can finally have my cancer tests. Please take care of yourself weight I know our nerves and stress get the best of us, but be careful. Take care and keep in touch.
Let us know how things are going. As always my prayers are with all of you. Love and Luck especially for July 8th surgery dayLisa. I can smile some now that was weight off my shoulders i have one more doctors appointment next week so i have a break from Mr Worry Lisa d thanks for the words they mean alot I will pray for good results on your heart testsAnd keep you in my prayers As they say prayers go up Blessings come downthere is strength in num,bers i know I have found my strength through all of you here Much Thanks To all North Fla Tim.
After I survived Breast Cancer my husband decided he did not love me anymore. He left while I was recouperating. I Ended with lymphedemia and any and all side effects from the Arimedex.
He to have a cataract operation. I was told the treatment I was going though excellerated the cataracts. I feel so lonely right now because he moved back after a year and a half because he ran out of money.
He stays on the computer all day and writes to other women. They tell them they love him call him babe. I feel like I do not deserve this. He will not leave saying its his house also. He is very cool towards me. I neveer presued another relationship because I only have one breast. I have been through so much I do not want reconstruction.
I am on two type of tranquilizers, can not sleep. The loneness is unbearable at rimes. When I got on this site, I was in the same place you are. All these people, my friends, helped me get through it. The first thing I did was get a lawyer to see what my options are. Oh, by the way, my husband had an affair not long after my kidney cancer surgery.
I blamed myself for everything. I wouldn't leave the house. I couldn't face people, until my family and friends got it through my head it wasn't my fault.
Divorce, Starting Over, and Dating after Cancer
And don't get me wrong I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes, but nothing like this. Don't let him treat you this way. You've been through way more than he has. And if he can't support you from the beginning, he never will. That's what happened to me. I am in the phase of starting over and dating. And, of course, it all started off badly. But when I decided I was giving up on everything, I came on this site and my friends talked to me and gave me great advice and courage.
I'm hanging in there, despite other medical problems.
Single adults may experience physical and emotional changes during and after cancer treatment. These may affect dating and sexual jankossencontemporary.com for pursuing new relationshipsConcerns about dating and sexual intimacy after cancer treatment are common. But do not let fear keep you from pursuing jankossencontemporary.comer these strategies when developing new. Feb 24, Looking for love online? There are over , potential matches on Saga Dating - search by star sign, location, lifestyle choices and more to find your perfect partner. Saga Dating is a site you can trust - we're members of the Online Dating Association. How NOT to date a Cancer man. He's a sensitive kindly soul, so keep calm in his company. A cancer diagnosis can often impact how you view dating and romantic relationships. Often, it can be difficult to adjust to the emotional and physical challenges that accompany a diagnosis. It is important to remember that it's normal to feel nervous about dating during or after cancer treatment.
I don't feel as lonely, but still want to have someone in my life. And it's hard. The lonelyness is unbearable at times, you are right.
But it doesn't make it easier having him there, talking to other women right in front of you. You are special and deserve so much more. Don't let him bring you down, stand strong. We are all here for you. That way maybe ya'll can work it our or maybe not. I believe there's someone for everybody, it's just a pain finding him.
Take care and I'm here to listen and help anyway I can. Thank you for replying to my letter. I try to stay out most of the day. This women calls many many times a day. Always has some emergency going. I honestly am thinking of telling him I will buy him an airline ticket to Ill.
Cancer is hard enough without this. He stayed home and slept when I had my mastectomy. I have no idea who he is but it is not the man I married 14 years ago. The really unfortunate thing is that so many spouses never believe that they will have to deal with the "sickness" or "worse" challenges that impact marriages. I wish they had a "Consumer Reports" for marriage prospects, rating them for longevity, like, "Comes on great, in the beginning, but not to be counted on for the long-haul".
You hit the nail right on the head. My oncologist told me the the men leaaving there wifes during this time is so common. He said he has heard this story more than he can count. My husband is emailing a women now and it hurts me. Even though I have no feeeling for him it is humiliating. He hurries up and mim the screen when I walk into the room. I told him I would buy him a ticket to go to Ill. He wont go. I've been through cancer and lets face it, it will always be a part of my life.
I think positive that it won't come back, but reality is it may. My ex husband cheated not long after, so I divorced him. Then starting over is so hard, especially financially. And now dating, that got off to a rough start. I still have that wall up. I am dating someone now and he is the complete opposite of my ex. He compliments me, holds my hand, calls me everyday. I like the way this is going. Ok, here comes what's next. I got my results from my heart tests.
My heart muscles have weakened and is not working like it should. A normal number on a reading is 50, I'm a My docs are suprised that someone my age has this low of a number. They think it was a virus I had in the past that caused this damage. I will be taking more tests to make sure. Two steps forward, three back. I hope this doesn't scare off the man I'm dating. Just when I think I might be happy, this happens.
Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Yeah, she was really worried about some of my female friends stealing me away from her. To the point of not allowing me to interact with them. "It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I . Mar 28, I've been in four relationships in my lifetime, ranging from 6 months to 12 yrs. Aries-4 yrs, Aries yrs, Cap-1 yr (but still friends), and Virgo 6 months. The Virgo and I broke up the beginning of Feb this year. I created an online dating profile and put up a pic. before I could even fill out - Originally posted in the Cancer forum. Feb 11, "Dating was hard and scary even before you had cancer, and all of those fears are probably still there after the cancer," says Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical social worker Barbara Golby. "Only now you're dealing with the fears and insecurities that come up as a result of cancer.".
They said I can live a normal life, I'll just have to be watched, like the cancer. I really don't know how much more I can take. I know things could be worse, but right now for me, I just want to cry and ask, "Why? Your health is your only concern at this point, why give a damn for what the guy thinks or cares?
If he gets scared and runs, good riddance, he wasn't worth it! You need to take care of YOU.
This is for the discussion of cancer, cancer related news, stories of survival, stories of loss and everything else associated with the disease. k. Members. Online. Created Jun 17, r/cancer Rules. 1. No Blogspam. 2. No solicitations. 3. No donation requests. 4.
Thanks Rick. My head know this, but my heart hasn't gotten the message yet. I'm just really scared. Love and Luck to you, Lisa. His reaction to this news should be a major clue. It just might be the true test. We'll see, I guess. I just don't want to get hurt again. But I know it's something I have to go through.
We can thank the Greeks for the name doctors apply to male hormones. Androgen comes from the words meaning "man-maker," and it's a well-chosen term. Testosterone is the most potent androgen, and it does make the man. It's responsible for the deep voice, increased muscle mass, and strong bones that characterize the gender, and it also stimulates. Divorce, Starting Over, and Dating after Cancer. LisaD Posts: 26 Joined: Jan Jun 03, - pm. Five years ago I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Renal Cell Carcinoma, stage 2 of 3. I had a partial nephrectomy of my right kidney. About a year after, my . Dating A Cancer Man: Overview. While some men have difficulty showing their feelings, the Cancer man is not one of them. Insightful and intuitive, he makes a caring friend and a nurturing lover. If you're looking for a partner who is kind and willing to take care of others, look no further than this sun jankossencontemporary.com: Donna Roberts.
Thank you and Take Care, Lisa. I am new to this site, but find it a true blessing that I am here now. I tripped at work and needed neck surgery. I have lung cancer that resulted in a lobectomy in Went through chemo and radiation, was in remission for three years. Since then the cancer has come back five more times. In the past six years I have had five courses of chemo and another course of radiation and a hysterectomy in I am so blessed.
My PD is my warrior. My "wasband" and I separated in July of and I was diagnosed in Nov. He cheated before my cancer and then used my cancer to get sympathy from a judge over a 4th DUI he received. When I was in remission in was reacquainted with a guy I new when we were kids. Seemed really like the strong type. Could handle anything If I had asked him to literally pick up my car and move it But I knew we were not going to make it when he told me "you're face looks thinner and prettier when the cancer is eating at you".
I just laughed.
The PC pre-cancer me would have been sooo upset, I don't think I would have gotten over it. I thought "Buddy, I have survived cancer and treatments for six years. You're nothin'! Showed me another strength I didn't know i had. So Lisa don't be sad. Recognize what you have been through and appreciate the strength it has taken to get there. I used to be afraid of many things. Not anymore.
I thank God for every day and feel once you have stared cancer in the eye, there is no one and nothing that can bring you down. Thanks for reading all of this. And remember: 1 Don't sweat the small stuff.
Praying for all of you, my new friends! For sharing your story with me. You are amazing with all you've been through. I take all of ya'll strong words and advice to heart.
It means so much to me. It's like I said, "My head knows, but my heart hasn't gotten the message yet! I guess being divorced, I don't want to be a burden on my kids and I do want someone in my life to lean on when I have too.
Our family has been through so much and it's like we never get a break. I pray for it, but it just keeps coming. I have to just keep taking one day at a time and hopefully, I'll get that strength back.
The strength I know I have.
And you are beautiful, don't let anyone tell you different. Thanks again. Love and Luck to all my friends, Lisa. The content on this site is for informational purposes only.
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Log in or register to post comments. Maybe you are being a bit too honest, a bit too early? Or are they just that shallow? Only, this time, don't choose an insensitive Twit! Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Divorced, cancer survivor. We should create a dating service, "Hot Cancer Survivors" lol.
Lisa and Siren. Thanks for saying that The very thought of dating scares the hell out of me! Lisa, I've been through the post-divorced dating scene and find the thought of "putting myself out there" again terrifying. Love and Courage! Ah, Men Your husband is a very lucky man! Holly, I am very appreciative of your kudos, plaudits, and accolades.
From Our Lips to God's Ears. Lots of Love, Holly. Thanks to All of You!!!!! Hugs, love, and luck to everyone, Lisa. Some guys are crazy. Date and C word. Hi Sirena. Dignity and Respect. Looking Forward Thanks Holly B. Heres lots of sunshine and a smile from Florida. I live in Southeast Louisiana, lol!!!!!!! Don't be a victim. Much Respect for You! How and when to tell your family? You would be amazed at the strength of parents! Strength and Support. God bless you and your mom, Holly!
Hi Tim. Its done finally. Congrats for Facing that Big Challenge!! Thanks a lot :. Husband Leaving. Hi Maya. Thank you. Maya, The really unfortunate thing is that so many spouses never believe that they will have to deal with the "sickness" or "worse" challenges that impact marriages. What Next? Why care what the guy thinks?
Lisa, Your health is your only concern at this point, why give a damn for what the guy thinks or cares? Thank You! You are right Hi everyone! LisaD67 Posts: 26 Joined: Jan Jun 03, - pm Five years ago I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Jun 03, - pm Lisa I am not quite where you are, but almost. Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Log in or register to post comments. Jun 04, - am Divorced, cancer survivor Hi Lisa, Im also 42, divorced and dating, and I like you seem to find that once I mention that Im a cancer survivor, men pull away.
Jun 04, - pm Lisa and Siren I absolutely commend you for going out there and dating again! Slickwilly Log in or register to post comments. SonSon Posts: Joined: Jul Sep 23, - pm Thanks for saying that Nov 17, - pm dating Hi I met my husband 4 years ago, he had had oral cancer and a neck dissection 3 years previously. Jun 04, - pm The very thought of dating scares the hell out of me! Rick Log in or register to post comments. Jun 05, - pm Ah, Men Hollyberry Log in or register to post comments.
Jun 05, - pm Your husband is a very lucky man! Lots of Love, Holly Log in or register to post comments. Jun 06, - am woof woof i told my daughter the samething slickwilly told his.
Jun 06, - am woof woof women be strong, be smart and be picky. Jun 10, - pm Thanks to All of You!!!!!
Consider What You Want in a Partner
Hugs, love, and luck to everyone, Lisa Log in or register to post comments. Jun 10, - pm Great Lisa. Jun 11, - pm Grateful!! Lisa Log in or register to post comments. Jun 11, - pm Date and C word Well I have officially been dating my current boyfried for a couple months.
Jun 11, - pm Hi Sirena I don't know if it's because we're the same age or what, but I feel a bond with you. Jun 11, - pm Hi! Jun 11, - pm Dignity and Respect Dear Lisa and Tim, I hope that both of you have realized from our responses that there are so many people who understand and appreciate you. Best of Luck to You, Hollyberry Log in or register to post comments. Jun 11, - pm Looking Forward Jun 11, - pm Thanks Holly B Today was a ruff day ended up talking with a rep with ACS to much going on at one time but they put my brains back on straight it meant a lot to talk with them i needed it and then reading you post and Lisas made my day end out good i try not to stress wich is bad but just words of keep going you will make it bring me strength Thanks to both North Fl Tim Log in or register to post comments.
Jun 11, - pm Heres lots of sunshine and a smile from Florida Well i must admit i have been bumming around since march and just asking a lot of questions about life things people and me like what did i do what did i come into contact with? But most of all i must admit when people sort of starting to back away it hurt but i pulled up my boot straps and came out of the swamps of north fl LOL but am a better person for all thats happening now thanks Lisa D words are always a comfort and mean more than you know right now in my case it,s a plus Tim In North Fl Log in or register to post comments.
Single adults may experience physical and emotional changes during and after cancer treatment. These may affect dating and sexual relationships. Concerns about dating and sexual intimacy after cancer treatment are common.
But do not let fear keep you from pursuing relationships. You may think it is too personal to share immediately. Or you may fear it could deter a potential partner. If so, wait for mutual trust to develop before sharing. Alternatively, you may feel dishonest or insincere withholding this information. If so, consider sharing before a relationship becomes serious.
Before sharing, consider how you would feel most comfortable doing it. Some people simply talk about the cancer experience. Others show scars or other body changes associated with cancer. Some express their fears and concerns through humor. Learn more about talking with a partner. As a relationship deepens, you may wonder how your experience with cancer could affect your sexual health and intimacy with your partner.
These may be physical or emotional. Talk with your health care team about potential sexual side effects. Tell them about specific ones you experience. They can give you options for managing or lessening these side effects. Learn more about how men and women can cope with changes to their sexual health during and after treatment.
Communication is important for healthy sexual feelings in any relationship. In particular, sharing cancer-related concerns can help relieve worries. It can also help boost emotional intimacy and trust. There is no perfect time to talk about sex.
But it is best to discuss it before becoming sexually intimate. Practice saying sexual terms aloud, in advance. Most sex therapists recommend using medical terms. It is best to avoid slang or euphemisms. Keep in mind that sexual intimacy involves more than intercourse.
Experiment with other ways of giving and receiving sexual pleasure. Talking with a counselor or sex therapist. These professionals help address problems with communication and intimacy.