A workshop that teaches you to master Intimate Communication, so that you can work things out more easily and fall more deeply in love every day. Teach secrets for connecting with each other in a deeper way, how to be authentic and vulnerable, how to navigate conflict effectively, speak your truth graciously, listening and owning your stuff. Mission: Support every human heart that yearns to live a loving and peaceful life and intuits that we are all interconnected and at the same time struggles to put that awareness into practice, and is tired of bumping up against limitations on love in themselves. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. It's not a voluntary process. It's an involuntary process. It's a very real chemical reaction that occurs based on how your mind gives meaning to your interaction with another.
He was crying. He apologized. He said he's thinking of ending his life, and his insurance money will not cover more time in rehab for depression. His grandparents read what he sent me, and then read my response.
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They are sending him here from Ohio to work with me. They prepaid for 20 hours of time. I almost removed him. He might have died. I don't know if I will save his life, but I do know why he felt safe with me. I looked at the parts in me that are still healing, and was honest about his points that had truth.
I was triggered. I used vulnerability to respond, instead of the norm, defensiveness followed by criticism and attack. The skill of vulnerability is required to be able to do this fast, with clarity. If I was not able to see my shadow, I could not have navigated this. By the way, I will be meeting this client in a facility with a 3rd party in the room.
He lives in a world filled with rejection. I dissolved my trigger with honestly looking at myself, and recognizing his attacks as a request for love.
He added a tremendous amount to my richly fulfilling life. Our counseling helped. My client Letisha is in an abusive relationship. And if that was all a person needed to know to leave, everybody would at the first signs of abuse. But Letisha chose Ben as her partner. She has been struggling for 3 years to leave. What does Ben do that is abusive?
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He threatens to leave her, with the feeling of vengeance in his voice, every time they have any argument, even if it's a tiny one. Letisha believes that Ben "gets off" on how much she suffers when he threatens her. As a marriage counselor, I learned long ago not to diagnose any man or woman with a label.
He's abusive. She's codependent. He's a liar. She's manipulative.
He's a control freak. She's narcissistic. This list goes on and on, and is irrelevant.
Ben threatened to leave Letisha on their fourth date, 14 years ago. And that's when Letisha signed up to play this game. Letisha did the following, from the fourth date up until now, 14 years later, when Ben threatened her: 1 She argued with him about it. This list could also go on and on.
She cannot escape this awful pattern between them because when she argues and fights, she leaves every time with more doubt and guilt and confusion. There is only one way to know the truth of this situation.
And that's by doing one thing. Three things. And then Silence. And then Witnessing. It's been happening for a long time, and I've been fighting and fighting about it with you. I've never really just sat here and looked into your eyes and told you that it feels like I die inside each time you say this to me.
I'm so hurt and angry that I've let this go on for so long, and I believe I've probably spent years doing mean things to you because I didn't know what else to do.
I am terrified that you're going to leave, but I'm more terrified to just be honest and tell you how much I hurt inside all the time anticipating that this same argument will happen. I'm sorry I've contributed to this fight in any ways that may have hurt you.
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Bite her tongue. There are no details to discuss. She told him what it does to her, with tears pouring down her face she did this in front of me and Ben. It's painful for Letisha to not get hooked back into convincing him of things, and doing all the 7 items above. Quiet time. Maybe one day. Maybe one month. She needs to wait to see what he says next.
Or possibly the next 5 things he says next on 5 different days. She needs to slow down until something meaningful comes out of Ben's mouth. Letisha and Ben did not come to see me for 2 months.
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I thought the whole thing failed and that they quit counseling with me. Ben was secretly going to a counselor for those 2 months.
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I don't know what counselor he saw, but he did not say his first words to Letisha until the 2 months had passed. Then they came to see me. He said the right things to her.
Her vulnerability disarmed his ability to attack further. He had no idea she even loved him anymore. He threatened to leave to try to get attention from her. After further work with me, Ben knows how to get attention from her by asking. They cancelled their legal separation, and they are currently in Hawaii taking a honeymoon they never took. Letisha did not have to leave Ben because he was abusive.
I did not diagnose Ben as being abusive, and taught Letisha to stop labeling him as abusive. Her vulnerability stopped the whole pattern. And if Ben did not recognize his part, and Letisha was able to do the silence and witnessing well, then she would have been able to leave him, without guilt or confusion.
But she didn't need to. People leave relationships in other ways, but this method is direct, takes little time, and preserves the heart of the person leaving. If you want to see who the person in front of you really is, you must learn vulnerability, or else you're diagnosing them, judging them, and arguing with them.
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Hirap ako manghula BI's pero nakakaaliw din mga comments. The comments are mostly nega. I cannot believe so many people have so many negativity in their lives to spew negative comments on almost all posts everyday.
Lalo na pag si Toni G ang nakapost like her wedding.
I never saw Toni as pretty and never liked her as an actress or even as a host palengkera style kasipero nagulat ako sa mga comments. My analysis is that maybe so many people followers of FP cannot accept na someone as common looking as Toni can be married to a handsome, smart and nice gentleman like Paul, who even waited 8 years for her na chaperoned pa parati ang date.
Kasi sanay tayo na ang mga hinihintay ng ganyan ay yung mga super pretty trophy wives. Eh si Toni madami pa ngang gay guys who can be prettier than her plus Paul pa is from a sosyal background vs the Gonzagas' palengkera one.
That's why this proves na despite all the BIs about her, she is most probably a good person and it takes people who know her well for years to prove it. Sabi nga pati mom ni Paul love na love daw si Toni. Oh well, mahirap nga to answer comments there in FP na super daming inggit and hatred sa mga puso nila.
Pero chismis nga lang naman kaya ang bababaw. Isa pa, anonymous naman sila, kaya tira ng tira, nobody's judging. Kat FP naman nagre reflect yan e.