Nowadays the twilight zone before a relationship becomes official is more confusing than ever before. With so many different words used to describe your relationship status. Talking to each other? You oftentimes forget that the primary purpose of that season is to evaluate whether or not he is the one whom God has for you. And the last thing you want is to let your feelings get in the way of your true happiness. This post contains affiliate links. I said it before and I will say it again.
And take my word on this one it will not be an awesome relationship. It will be awesome. Pray About Your Future. No matter how young, you can begin praying about your future now. Praying about your future will help you make wise decisions concerning your future. Pray for wisdom, pray for guidance, pray for for clarity and direction. If you make it a habit to pray about your future, God will be faithful in providing direction and clarity for big decisions - like a future relationship.
Understand the Biblical Roles of a Husband and Wife. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Study and learn the purpose God has given you as a woman. Become familiar with the passage in Ephesians 5 that speaks to husbands and wives, and their specific roles.
So make it a priority to study and understand your role as a woman and future wife. This will prepare you for a great and godly relationship! Understand the Concept of Love and Respect. When I first read about the concept of love and respectI was blown away. Not surprisingly, this idea is nothing new. It comes from the very Word of God. God created both male and female and gave them each unique desires. As a result, men thrive when they receive lots of admiration and adoration.
Perhaps this is why many men have such a strong ego! On the other hand, God created women with a very strong desire for love. We thrive when we are treated with tender loving care, and even lots of affection.
Understanding this concept and actually putting it into practice, will help you prepare for a great relationship. And if you are already in a relationship. Learn How to Communicate Well. Communication is key in life, and in relationships. And you know what? The Bible has a LOT to say about communication! Learning good communication skills will go a looong way to help you have a great relationship.
No one wants to be in a relationship with a selfish or self-focused individual. Learn to focus on other people. Be genuinely interested in other people - Keep their best interest in mind. Relationships are not supposed to be a proposition like most people seem to think. But there is nothing wrong with being the one who gives or loves the most.
Learn to be selfless and others-focused in your relationships. Doing so will prepare you for a selfless and loving relationship that will bless your future spouse. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. Let me explain.
I think we as young women should have high expectations for the young man who wants to win our heart. If expectations are too low you may end up with someone who will not properly lead you in a godly, Christ-like way. However, on the flip side, having expectations that are too high can be very dangerous as well. Expecting a young man to always make you happy, bring you flowers every week, and romance you every single day of your life. Set high standards on things that really matter - like his walk with God, godly character, polite manners, family values, etc.
Choose to Be Joyful. But choosing to be a joyful and happy woman will go a long way in preparing you for a great relationship. Sour moods, constant unhappiness, and wrong emotions will drag other people especially him down. However, a happy, joyful spirit will bring life and energy to any relationship. It is NOT the responsibility of other people or a special young man to make us a happy.
That kind of expectation could ruin a relationship! Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? So often, we try to change other people.
We need to learn to accept people as they are - without trying to change them. You can pray for others, and hope for the best - you can even encourage and motivate them to do what is right but you will never change them. What are your weaknesses? What are your particular struggles?
Ask a close friend to point out things you need to work on. Make a self-improvement list. Set goals for yourself. Learn to grow in the Lord. Learn how to make changes in your own life -especially spiritual changes- and you will be preparing yourself for a great and godly relationship! Final Thoughts. Preparing yourself for a godly relationship takes work. But so does a great relationship.
If you can learn these things now, you will be more prepared for a successful, Christ-centered relationship later. Once again, the absolute best way to prepare for an awesome relationship is to be a godly young woman. Biblical principles are the best rules to follow in order to have a successful and awesome relationship!
I meet a guy from church not during church service, but it was a famiky and friends day at my church for memorial weekend. You have known each other for a very short time. You can not determine whether someone is for you from a few texts. Enjoy getting to know each other while guarding your heart. Keep up the good work! Hi, great piece. Stumbled on this while looking for answers and now I am completely sure he is not for me. Thanks Justine, God continue to increase you. I have been with my man for 5 years now.
A godly dating relationship
He ticks off everything in this list and more. Intact I prayed for a my perfect man and God literally answered my prayer the very next day. I love him to death and would do anything for him.
The issue I have which has haunted me for years is I am not attracted to him. And I desire sex and affections from other men. All I can assume is that God will only give me the attraction once I commit to him in blind faith and marry him. Thanks would love some advice. I encourage you to pray for guidance for this relationship.
You stated that you are sleeping with him and you are not yet married. That is not glorying God. I advice you to not move forward and spend some time evaluating the relationship.
Great blog post! A couple weeks ago I expressed interest in and started dating one of my best friends. He fits every single one of these traits. Is it possible my feelings could change and I could learn to develop romantic feelings for him? Hey Nicole, thanks for sharing this. I commend you for honestly admitting that you made a decision out of loneliness. Hopefully, you will be able to stay friends after. I am wanting some Godly advice as to what I should do with my friend.
I have known my best friend for well over 17 years plus but in that time frame we lost touch for whatever reason we both have married and have kids and recently reconnected earlier this year and since then we have created an emotional bond and there has been a physical and sexual attraction.
A godly dating relationship is one that includes two people who've decided to love the Lord and respect His values above all else. Godly dating relationships require intentionality and dedication to do what the Lord will require, even over complying with what our partners may desire. Those in a Godly dating relationship should seek to do the. Apr 26, Dating in a Godly Way 1. Choose a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. To have a God-centered dating relationship, start by finding a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. Try to avoid casual dating and only date someone if you view them as a potential life-long partner. When you 78%(21). Matt Chandler is a husband, father, lead pastor at The Village Church in Dallas, and author of several books, including The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption. Matt was our recent guest on the Ask Pastor John podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating. We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and .
I have been lead by the Holy Spirit to pray for him everyday. Great post. I have been dating a guy from a completely different country Africa who is a Pastor.
I am having to find out cultural differences and learning what is cultural and what is his character He is so humble and has integrity and makes time when he can but it is very hard.
I have got so much from this post Thank you. Hi Justine - I loved your article. He has not taken that step, but I still feel very anxious and unsure about our relationship. Any tips you have? Hi Haylee sounds to me like your body is telling you what you have been sending all along - that he is not the right man for you. You have to understand that our mind will protect us from anything that harms us, meaning that if you subconsciously fear that he is not good for you and are stressed about it, it will induce stress hormones that can look like anxiety.
You are only hurting yourself by staying. I suggest you truly pray and fast about the relationship and find out what God is telling you to do.
The man I met a year and a half ago meets and exceeds your list. He clearly stated he has prayed for the Lord to bring his future wife from our first date. I have also. We love the outdoors and spend every free moment in the mountains.
He is my best friend. But I have zero romantic attraction - zero. He is clearly attracted to me romantically. We have kissed and it was awful for me. Does anyone know what the Lord says? Please tell me, Lord. However, always remember that we are first and foremost brothers and sisters in Christ.
If you decide to stay in that relationship even though you are not attracted to him and later on decide to break it off. You will hurt him a lot and that is a horrible thing to do to your brother in Christ. So I suggest you go before God and ask him to show you ways to increase his attraction to you. I consider him Godly and mature. God is the best matchmaker i believe. Due to some circumstances that I had recently he returned with his quest. I know something for a fact that he lies a lot to impress me and in the meantime he started to pen up about some intimate details about him.
Thank you. He knows I go to church and he asked if I prayed which allowed me to be happy cause I got to talk about it. I feel God has us to be together for the long-term. I think he has his head in past hurt that may be stopping him.
I truly love him as my friend, and pray God opens his heart to see what is right in front of him. I feel God sent us both to each other for restoration. Hey Tasia, it sounds to me like you might be holding on to someone who is trying to get away. Even if the two of you are meant to be, it is best for you to stop pursuing this relationship until he comes around himself.
Switch your focus to yourself and build up your confidence to attract a man that truly sees value in you. We talk daily.
We are friends. We are enjoying what is presently manifesting whatever it is. Some people are hurt. I think we jump to conclusion in seeing the negative instead of manifesting the positive. Our words have power.
Hi,Justine i have been dating my guy fr three years now but it got to a certain point everything changed. Hey Bel, you need to make up your mind.
2. Have Deep Honesty
Do you want to stay with your boyfriend or no? Because jumping from one relationship to the other, might not even be the best thing to do here. Hi I loved these key points and somebody came into my life that fits all of this but the thing concerning me is that I feel like we both are weak in the department of waiting until marriage.
Hi Christina, I completely understand your dilemma. Boundaries you discuss with your boyfriend and agree upon together. He is loving, caring, loves God respects me, motivates me to keep praying, motivates me to keep on loving God.
We meet at church! He makes me feel good about myself and is so supportive even when I show some insecurity. Especially then, really. Maybe he is really not the one. Hey Brianna, I think you are confusing yourself at the moment. Take a deep breath and rest assured that if he is interested in you, shy or not, he will take you out.
There are ways you can practice being a little more outgoing, but never assume that being shy is a bad thing. My fiance and I met online 10 months ago. I initiated the relationship.
LOVE, DATING, COURTSHIP & MARRIAGE - Dr Myles munroe giving relationship advice and help
Which bothered me but maybe is not a big deal. He let me know right away he was still married but just looking to meet or chat and wanted me to know he was still married.
I am a christian and he claims to be as well. OUr relationship has had some rough spots. He would say its been amazing. I am very close to the Lord and value my relationship with God more than anything. My question is this. Now that I am engaged I have been waking up with unsettling anxiety. He adores me. He takes me to church. He puts me first. He knows the bible well. But I see some patterns of inconsistancy with his lifestyle that really concern me. I was brushing it aside because he would tell me things like he has been married before that is why it is hard for him to not make out with me etc.
I believe in sexual purity before marriage as it is a mark of being justified by your faith and truly desire to serve god.
THE SECRET TO INITIATING A GODLY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP
He does not get uncomfortable talking about god. He says he is convicted too but I wonder why he doesnt come to me and apologize for leading us into sin? The last time bothered me so much I told him I couldnt handle it anymore and he said it wouldnt happen again. How do i know if this man is really a christian?
Jan 08, Bible verses about dating and relationships. Try to find anything about dating in the Bible, you will not find anything. Nor will you find anything about courtship, but we do have biblical principles to help you when seeking a Christian relationship. Quotes "Relationships should draw you closer to Christ, not closer to sin. THE SECRET TO INITIATING A GODLY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. February 11, by Linson_Daniel in Faith, Personal Development. Ah, love is in the air. Valentine's Day is around the corner and perhaps you are considering new love or you are contemplating love lost. If you are married, then I hope you are looking forward to renewing your love. PART 1: How It's Different From Modern Dating The first step in the process of moving toward marriage through the initiation of or participation in a godly relationship is to evaluate yourself spiritually. Remember, one of our guiding principles here is that we are trying to be (or prepare to be) a godly spouse even as we try to find a godly spouse.
I feel like an idiot for saying yes when I have these doubts. His good qualities are so good. I do not struggle with lust or masturbation and he says he does not either but I can tell he struggles with it. He is very consistant in his devotions and we talk about the lord sometimes i feel like my passion for the lord is deeper.
He is absolutely head over heels in love with me sometimes i feel pressure to get married from him although I think he doesnt mean to but he is so excited to marry me HELP! We just started biblical counseling as this is super important to me. Hi Cheryl, thank you so much for sharing this with me. I do see a few red flags here, but actually with your behavior rather than his. If you have so many doubts about marrying him, then you absolutely should pump the breaks.
I met Lionel around 6 months ago while I was working in Guadeloupe. Lionel was a good friend of mine and we often hung out together in our larger friendship circle. One day I became aware he was interested in me as more than a friend and this led me to start to think about him on more than a friendship level also. At a party one night, we were both drunk and ended up kissing. It was a good moment, but in my head it was a mistake and something I intended to move on from, and not repeat.
But during the following days he pursued me, wanted to spend time with me one-on-one, messaged me a lot etc. He was intrigued by this, shocked also. It appeared he had never met another Christian in his life, and had certainly not taken an interest in it ever before.
But he immediately said he still wanted to see me. I said ok, whatever, knowing that one day we would drift away from each other and that would be it. I was leaving Guadeloupe about two weeks after that. Three months down the line, we both met up in France, having stayed in contact the whole time we were apart.
Now in more of a relationshippy area, I liked him a lot more. Heck, I loved him. He had taken a great interest in Christianity, started reading the Bible, praying and doing his own Bible studies. He had changed in other ways as well. He had stopped smoking, masturbating and was drinking less too. Now we are in a long-distance relationship, have met each others families and friends. Lionel has been to my uni church and really enjoyed it. He prays everyday as I do also, and we are doing Bible studies over the phone whenever we can.
At this point, our relationship has Godly characteristics and is constantly pointing me towards Jesus. Lionel is growing in his faith everyday, and has not stopped being excited about the Bible since the day he bought one and it arrived in the post. Is Lionel going to drift away from his faith in the future? Will he ever go back to his old ways?
Is this going to cause problems for us? We have already argued quite a lot together about our compatibility.
He is 30, I am I have been asking and asking God whether this is right or not. I need your help. He is agood person ,fears GOD and he has most qualities that you mentioned but i dont love him. Let him know with love and compassion, that you are not interested. Please, I was in a relationship with girl for almost 2years but not we broke up because we needed sign to be sure we are meant to be, tbh she requested for the break up.
And please is it everyone that sees signs from God? Sometimes no sign is a sign as well. You should focus on yourself and pray that God brings you the person that is best for you, even if it is not your ex. Thank you for sharing.
I have been single since and I am a single mom. I had a old classmate of mine that reached out to me earlier last month, we lost contact with each other for 20 plus years just because of life.
But he told me that he got saved back in and has he started his relationship with the Lord he was praying about a Christian woman for him, he said that God put me in his mind and said I was the one for him. I have been praying about him and I am not sure what the Lord has for me.
I am very guarded and very careful when it comes to men. Really confused and prayers please and any advice will be appreciated. God Bless. Hi Yvette, I can totally understand why you are hesitant.
But understand that fear is not from God, but faith is. Therefore, honestly ask yourself why you are confused and doubtful. I find someone that as all this 10 qualities in him and am convinced physical in me he is the right person but something bothered me, anytime i prayed to lord to show me the right person, i always see a black guy and tall smiling at me with a open teeth and someone telling me, that my husband in my dream but the guy with these quality is a yellow guy and short and doesnt have open teeth am confused.
But I just want a second opinion, I really like him. My suggestion is to take it slow. Enjoy the time you spend together and observe his words and actions. Can it still be gods will if the person I want to be with is with someone else at the moment. Hi Justine, I been in a relationship for almost 3 years. Our downs have been verbally abuse screaminglies and I also found out he was talking to his ex.