If you are new to the world of wheelchairs your life has probably been filled with new experiences and new information. Over the years we have learned many things about being in a relationship with someone in a wheelchair. Some lessons have been life altering, some lessons have hurt physically and some lessons leave us in a fit of laughter. Despite our list there are endless things we have learned and continue learning. One thing we can agree on and has been a major life lesson is that dating or marrying someone in a wheelchair is the same as having a relationship with an able bodied person. What have you learned from your loved one in a wheelchair?
Especially when accidents happen. Just as he is my rock in other situations. What helped his depression is finding others and becoming active again. All he needed from me was encouragement and knowing I will bring him wherever he needs me to plus cheer him on! He did a very hilly 15k Boilermaker in Utica, NY this past year in his standard chair with only 3 months of training for a wheelchair challenge to try and win a racing chair.
He was 30 minutes over the time but a generous lady anonymously gave the money for him to get one and he should have it to start training when winter is over. He finished it though. He accomplished his goal. Sometimes the chair allows for greater abilities to be seen rather than those that were lost. I was so proud and still am! He has made me see the strength in myself as well!
Thank you for this list and sorry this was so long. Thank you again! Hey Ashley! SO glad you found us!
It can make all the difference in a new wheelchair users life. Glad you guys are figuring out your new wheelchair life! I treat him normal. I found this guy was so depressed and massed up. I truly love him. Hello everyone!! I was reading your comments and i thought i should i write down my experience too.
DATING IN A WHEELCHAIR - TIPS AND ADVICE - HOW WE MET
I have been dating a paraplegic guy for about 1 and half yrs now. I must say, he is the coolest guy i have ever met although i dont have so much experiences with guys He is 34, paraplegic for 9yrs so far, and i feel so lucky i met him. This attitude of his and the way he sees life, has inspired me and i just want to look like him.
The only sad thing, is that we are not in a proper relationship it was his will and you know. I just wish i was his girlfriend. That is the only thing that makes me sad.
I met the most amazingly funny, gorgeous and smart guy SCI. We got on so well and I really like him. How would you take it? I have been with my Bf for 6 yrs now, living together 3yrs. Working progress.
He been wonderful helping me raise my kids. Am so grateful for that. Times get tough usual accidents and UTI, we do our best and handle it well. His sense of humor makes everything easy to get through.
I know people think there disability holds us back, but in reality there disability is what keeps us going, and makes us strong. When I get sick all i can think about is who going to take care of my kids and him.
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I want to live and be stronger for him and of course my children. Am more of his partner in crime, and most importantly best friend. Its just a matter if finding the right person to help you get through it.
I loved this article a year ago and love it today. My husband is a quad with c3-c4 injury. Now listen, he is amazing and my complete counterpart. I fart in the bed, sometimes he pees. I always wear slides on my feet. For quick removal in case of caster problems. Nothing is ever easy though, it takes a strong person to be with him but with a sense of humor and a quick tongue, life is good. My partner is a T7 paraplegic. How do u guys even have sex? I believe this is a test of our love.
Please give me some advice on sex after spinal cord injury and intimacy. Thanks for your comment! Feel free to email us at info wheellove. I sustained my injury 18 years ago. Due to a motorcycle accident.
I have no sensation below my rib cage. In regards to having sex and pleasing your lady. My pleasure now is making sure my partner is totally pleased. Which can be done with some intimate kissing, touching and toys if needed. I have much more to share. That it was a amazing experience. It takes awhile to figure things out. For the first 3 years after my injury. My penis would get a full erection after some stimulation.
By my partner. I got the enjoyment of the visual. With her on top obviously because of my paralysis. We would use my wheelchair as well.
I have been dating a paraplegic guy for about 1 and half yrs now. I must say, he is the coolest guy i have ever met (although i dont have so much experiences with guys) He is 34, paraplegic for 9yrs so far, and i feel so lucky i met him. i have never felt pitty/sadness towards him, just because he is such a strong man, much stronger than many.
For her to sit on my lap. Ok, I think I jabbered enough. Good luck and God Bless you both. Hey Mike, so sorry to hear about your negative experiences! Meet a mature person who will love you just the way you are. Thanks for the grins. Still have lots of questions, but time will provide the answers. Sheesh, they become weapons! The next issue the one that goes along with the size 16 feet. Every day is a new adventure and a new learning experience, just as it should be with any new relationship.
They have no clue because she has not told them she wears a depends and has bathroom issues. In the beginning she was fearful after the first few bathroom accidents in the bedroom that I would break it off with her.
I told her I will never leave her for the things she can not control. Still took her time to trust and believe it because others had been down right verbally abusive about it. Everytime I help him in and out of bed, or in and out of his car, he always gets surprised by how easily I lift him out of his car usually both his mom and sister have to help him.
Tips for dating a paraplegic
My boyfriend always likes to make himself look like the handicapped sign in parking spaces, and he always tricks the kids he talks to at our local driving school that he uses sticks and duck tape to drive his car! M also the patient of c5c6 but everyone is not like u dear u care too much of ur dear one. Megan, your comment about the impersonating a handicap sign definitely made me laugh. I just started dating a paraplegic about 2 months ago. You have made me laugh today which is great cos was having a bad day previously.
My marriage fell apart just after 25 yrs cos my husband was an alcoholic which I always thought was my fault. I really saw myself in most of the points.
My boyfriend 29 years old, in wheelchair for 18 ys and I are now for over 2 years a couple. And that people truely are willing to help when there are to many stairs to handle alone or swapping places in restaurants ok, sometimes it can be really annoying when people are TOO helpful sometimes.
And yes, the stares. Wash day can be every day! Even at in the morning. Backpacks become so much better than purses too!! But that means more time with your partner!! My BF is queer with MD, so he can do virtually no chores anyway. Ladies thank you so much for that article.
It had my wife years and I in stitches. After almost 9 years of marriage and 5 years of me in my chair every point made us laugh and shout YES!! From the stares to the castors to theof all thingsurine! Thank you for your kind words, Jason! Glad we could make you laugh! Thanks for joining us! Much love!
Love this! My hubby was paralysed t4 in sept and I had our twins the month after! Works hard, inspires everyone he meets, and never lets his disability paraplegic stop him.
I am in a wheelchair a yr n 3 months ago. Its been an experience.
Its scarey at times trying to relearn things again or new things. I had melt down after melt down. Its ok just have it start over.
My husband has been a trooper the past year. He learned all he needed to care for me. He still gets a little impatient at times. My biggest one is the hospitals how really equipped they are a lot of drs offices are too. So you end up sitting in your chair to get examed. And lastly airplanes in case of an emergency really how does a paraplegic get to an exit without being trampled.
Scarey thought there. But it is what you make of it. You can be sad n pity for me or you can cut up and make the worst to a joke. I told him he better go back to his books cuz I would have grand babies to chase one day Not wheel them around. Therapy since Oct my wreck was May 5 I was also told immediately by Dr that my son will never walk again. He announced this in the waiting room while my son had just been airlifted to ICU. Docs should have classes in etiquette!
The first couple years after injury are the hardest! You can do it! Best of luck to you in your rehab!
Hi you should consider drive in cinemas if you have any in your area! If you are comfortable in a car seat, which my husband finds really comfortable and better than vein his wheelchair. Of course he still dreams of one day getting rid of his power chair but for me, if that never happens, I will be there for him forever and always.
In the end it will be the two of you, and you as a couple alone. It takes a looooong of patience and team work. Yes, it does sound as any other married couple BUT with extra work. I am talking about my own experience. And of course there is the intimacy. Analyze every little ct of how life is going to be. You MUST truly and madly be in real love with this person if you want to have a long-term relationship.
9 Things I Wish People Knew About Dating Someone In A Wheelchair
Who cares? All that matters to me is what God has to say. But his gait is very noticeable and the stares make me so mad. I have a hard time being calm and kind when people are being so awfully rude. It can definitely be hard sometimes, Erin! T12 incomplete.
I walk very akward but am very thankful to be walking! I have learned patience. She can do most things just fine without my help. It just takes a little longer. She is the love of my life and has opened my eyes and educated me on the rudeness of people who do NOT consider the life of those in a chair. I just tell my wife that I love her when things go wrong. Purple is our favorite color,but right now everything is blue for now.
And please please continue to drink water!!! Your way dark!!! I am in a wheelchair for over 38 years. Beiing married for 45 years. Its NOT a pleasant jerrney, but your head must be on the right place. U learn each other and learn to do things the best way that suits you both. HARD work and many tears over the years.
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U learn to stand back, or to look to the other side. Always play things by looking and hearing, at a problem. And there are so many problems come your way, u dont ask for!!! And people dont understand, they acting if u are paralizes from your neck upwords instead of beiing paralized from your legs down. You do gotta keep your head in the humor side of things or it will eat you alive. I never remember walking being that hard. It does get easier.
The first two years are the hardest. Since then i have lived my dream of being a mountain manrunning a self sufficient homestead and now a small peach farm. Our men agree, it does get easier!
Thank you again for sharing. You have made me understand what a normal happy life you can have. It may be a little different but it is there to be had if you want it. I really meant it when I said you all have changed my life.
Keep on wheel in. Love Teri. Would be awesome to read something like this coming from a guy who dates a girl in wheelchair. And we are freaking adorable.
Dating Paraplegics and Wheelchair Users
Hey Meredith! It helps ease a bit of the stress and embarrassment. My friends tell me I am easy to talk to and a good listener. I am not a paying member just yet, but I plan to be. So until then, leave me a message. Take care. I love life and it loves me back. I am currently in a break from finishing my last year at NKU, due to the car accident I was in nov I love sports! Before my accident I played alot of softball and on occassion soccer.